My future wife has 4 gerbils, they started out as 2 baby female gerbils that she got from her cousin.  She then learned that her cousin didn’t know how to sex gerbils and just assumed they were both female because the penis wasn’t visible.

So, ignoring the giant rat testicles these creatures have, my future wife’s cousin gave her two ‘females’ who then mated into…40 gerbils.  Last year my wife decided it was too much to handle and she gave away the legitimate females to a pet store; the store said they only had one cage and could only take females.

That put her down to ten males and by the time she moved in with me we were down to four.  Three white gerbils and one brown one.  She had been buying them food, which was mostly millet grains, cracked corn, and a few sunflower seeds.

I checked the cages and noticed that the millet grains, which were 90% of the food, were just scattered uneaten around the cage’s shaved pine bedding.  The cracked corn was munched a bit but often went untouched as well, but we could hand-feed them the sunflower seeds.

That being the case, I decided to stop buying them food they won’t eat and I bought them some bird seed.  It was 20% millet grains, 40% sunflower seed, 20% cracked corn and assorted nuts, and 20% assorted other grains.

We mixed the old food in with it in gradual amounts to get them used to the new diet and they loved it.  Now a quarter of the way into the bag we find out…I must’ve bought a bad batch of it or else the high humidity in the apartment made it breedable to flies.

We had about three houseflies that made it into the apartment a couple weeks ago.  Apparently one of them laid eggs in the gerbil food and we have been discovering maggots crawling up the wall for the past week or two.  We couldn’t figure out where they were coming from.  Finally I realized it all when the wife was trying to catch one that was rappelling into the gerbil cage via some butt-thread.  I had been noticing some kind of a thread had developed within the top of the food bag.

We wrapped the food in a plastic bag, put it in a garbage bag, cleaned out the gerbil’s cage and ran the sweeper until it overheated to collect the little bastards.  Now we just need to watch the gerbils since they probably ate the stupid things and filled the cage with rectal larvae of some kind.


Rectal larvae?  Definitely goes on the list of weirdest things I’ve ever said…


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