September Dick of the Month: Madonna

Badass Dick of the Month

This month’s Dick of the Month, and technically our first ever, goes to Madonna.  Therefore proving, in a world of gender equality, that you don’t need to have a dick…to be a dick.

This video shows her graciously accepting a very kind gesture of a flower twice the size as she is.  She then proceeds to shove it carelessly under the desk and roll her eyes at one person.  After that she even goes a step further by speaking to a person nearby, not realizing the microphone in front of her is still on (meaning the poor guy probably heard her) and says, “Ungh!  I absolutely loathe hydrangeas.”

Well that’s unfortunate that you don’t like the kind of flower he gave you.  You know what?  Too damn bad!  If you’re going to look the man in the eye and thank him for his flower, at least wait until you get home to bitch about getting a flower you don’t like, you two-faced bitch!

I don’t like the idea of celebrities being open-prey to paparazzi and stuff like that, but this was at a press conference to promote her new movie, which I refuse to give her the honor of naming (mostly because as of writing this I can’t remember the title).  Smile for the camera, answer silly questions, take giant flowers, and then shut the f*** up!

But, what really makes her win the month is…her stupid video where she actually makes fun of being caught being a total bitch.  Yes, we understand…you don’t like hydrangeas; so don’t accept them.  Tell the guy you don’t like them, thank him for the kind gesture anyway, then go back to shutting the f*** up.  A video poking fun at your bad attitude toward a fan doesn’t make you funny, it makes you a bitch; or in this case: Dick of the Month.

Honorable Mention: Albert Pujolis, first-baseman for the St. Louis Cardinals.  If he’d have done it to a kid, he’d have definitely won.  But since it was a grown man begging for a baseball like a child, we’ll only give him honorable mention.  Here’s the teasing trick I’m referring to.



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