October Dick of the Month: Joshua Komisarjevsky’s Defense Team

It’s that time of month again (actually I’m about three days late…oh well), where we look at the people who walk about and act like, or simply are, a total dick.  Particularly…the Dick of the Month.

Now we had a pretty good month here in October and I spent some time trying to figure out which way I wanted to go with it.  There was the gentleman in Zanesville, Ohio who let loose a few dozen endangered animals before shooting himself and leaving the police to kill them.

Then, of course, there was the New York Yankees’ administration who threw out a vendor who had been at Yankee Stadium for decades, because he joked around with an opposing player.  That player had actually played for the Yankees years earlier.

We also had a gem of the man who claims to have shot and executed Moammar Ghadafi, killing him in cold blood.  But we hesitate to nominate him…because we kind of support what he claims to have done.

But in the end we’ve decided to go with a true Dick on the most base level.  What makes it even worse is…they are required by law to be a Dick of this level.

This month’s Dick of the Month is…

Joshua Komisarjevsky’s Defense Team

Why do they win the day, err, the month?  It takes a real piece of Dickcheese to stand in front of a man whose wife and daughters were raped and murdered by the man you’re defending and use the defense, “It’s the victims’ fault.”

Let’s give you folks the summarized story of what happened, then I’ll explain the ‘winning’ defense tactic.

Komisarjevsky and an accomplice, Steven Hayes, followed Jennifer Hawke-Petit home from the grocery store after Komisarjevsky became infatuated with the young 11-year-old Petit daughter, Michaela.  They broke into the basement where the father, Dr. William Petit, was watching television and struck him in the head with a baseball bat.  They then tied him to a pillar in the basement and went upstairs where they tied Dr. Petit’s daughters, 11 and 17, to their beds.

Komisarjevsky’s accomplice, Hayes, then escorted Mrs. Hawke-Petit to the bank where she withdrew $15,000 for ransom.

While Hayes and Mrs. Hawke-Petit were in the bank, Kosimarjevsky sexually assaulted the 11-year-old Michaela, including ejaculating on her and forcing her to take a shower while he watched.  When Hayes returned, Komisarjevsky tied Michaela to her bed again, and convinced Hayes that he had to ‘man-up’ and get in on the action.

So Hayes raped the mother, Mrs. Hawke-Petit.  That’s when Komisarjevsky discovered that Dr. Petit had broke free of his bonds and fled out a side door to get help from a neighbor.  Hayes strangled Hawke-Petit when he was done raping her, then they doused the house and all three women, including the two still-living daughters aged 11 and 17, in gasoline and set it on fire.

Surrounded by police in a ‘vehicle perimeter’ they were caught and arrested a block away in the stolen Petit family vehicle.

Only Dr. Petit survived.  And after Hayes had been convicted of 16 out of the 17 charges and sentenced to death, only Komisarjevsky’s trial remained.

And that’s where the rotting balls of Dickcheese known as Komisarjevsky’s defense team come in.  With a diary of illicit details about Komisarjevsky’s actions and thoughts during the crime to push the prosecution the defense team had little choice but to resort to a last-ditch plan of: Keep Komisarjevsky Off Death Row.

The case was so unwinnable they just decided to aim for the last-ditch-effort from the get-go.  And their ace in the hole was this defense:

If Dr. William Petit hadn’t escaped, the situation wouldn’t have been escalated to murdering the entire family by way of setting the house ablaze after strangling Mrs. Hawke-Petit.  Therefore the crime of murder is Dr. Petit’s fault.

Secondly, if instead of Dr. Petit escaping, the elder daughter, 17-year-old Hayley Petit, had escaped and gone for help the situation may not have been deemed so dire by Hayes and Komisarjevsky and they wouldn’t have murdered everyone.

Luckily justice prevailed and Komisarjevsky was convicted on all 17 counts.  As of writing this he has not yet been sentenced, preferably to death.

It’s crimes like these where I think the death penalty should not only be embraced, but emboldened.  You should be killed like you murdered: Hayes should be hanged, slowly, and set ablaze; Komisarjevsky should be beaten with a bat after they catch him on fire.  That’s justice!

Irregardless, for looking a widower and father of two dead children in the face and saying, “Your family’s deaths are your fault because you escaped from armed sociopaths while they were raping your wife and daughter,” Joshua Komisarjevsky’s defense team wins the October ‘award’ of Dick of the Month!



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