New Year Stupidity

Well it’s the new year, we’re now into 2012.  I’ve recently purchased one of those page-a-day calendars.  This particular one is The 365 Stupidest Things Ever Said.  18 years of the stupidest quotes by celebrities, politicians, and athletes.  Al of the quotes are supposed to be from 1995-2011.

So periodically I’ll update you folks with some good, or bad as the case may be, quotes from it.

Let’s start off with the first two, since we’re up to January 2nd, already.

January 1st, 2012

“In life you have to rely on the past, and that’s called history.”

-Donald Trump, on Celebrity Apprentice

That’s right; Donnie-boy’s always a good start for the stupidest things ever said.  Donald Trump says stupid things and winds up being called a genius.  You know why?  Because he calls himself a genius and we, as Americans, are generally simple enough to think, “Well if he’s brash and arrogant enough to call himself a genius and a man of wealth, it must be true!”

In reality he’s just a really good marketer and has enough money to live a posh lifestyle, even though he’s had numerous buildings foreclosed upon has a few bankruptcies under his belt.  Not exactly the heroic job-creator he claims to be.

January 2nd, 2012

This one’s interesting in that it’s not so much stupid as ridiculous.  This rapport was written on a car insurance claim form by a claimant who had struck a cow with their vehicle.

Q. What warning was given by you?

A. Horn.

Q. What warning was given by the other party?

A. Moo.

Makes sense to me…give the man his money.

And y’know what, since I won’t see you folks again until Wednesday.  Here’s tomorrow’s quote, so you can feel like you’re looking into the future:

January 3rd, 2012

Ms. Crystal Lemcke has a few actual questions/comments received by Hotel front desk employees from their customers.  The italicized parts are my own commentary.

*Are you open on Weekends?

Nope, sorry, you’ll have to find some room under the bridge nearby during the weekends.

*Are we confined to our rooms or are we allowed to go out?

Remember the lyrics?  “You can check out any time you want, but you can never leave.”  Apparently someone took that literally.

*How dare you fold the towels in the room like that!  That’s not how I fold them at home!  I reserved this room a month ago; you knew I was coming here!

If you’d like we can fold you into a rug and shove you over the bridge where we keep our guests during the weekend closures.  Let me call Mr. Gambino to assist you.

Go here if you’d like to have your own calendar like this, which I highly suggest; especially since it’s entirely recyclable: The pack plastic can be recycled and you can reuse each day’s sheet as notepaper by writing on the blank back.  Or you can go here to check out the writers’ site.

~RCS

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

Free lessons in Dickjutsu by e-maill. Or if you don't get the joke, it's the subscription button.

%d bloggers like this: