June Dick of the Month: Justin Gatlin

The Olympics are just on the horizon…they will soon be overshadowing everything: The presidential election, the war(s) our country is in, the travesties in Syria, the Egyptian elections, and of course the war(s) we aren’t in, yet (I’m lookin’ at you Iran).

But first we have stories about people trying to qualify for the 2012 Olympics.

There’s some interesting stories, like the one about the South African man, Oscar Pistorius, born with no fibula bones in his legs trying to qualify on carbon-fiber blades.  There’s also the gentlemen from South Sudan whose country is not old enough to be included in the Olympics.

But those are all uplifting stories…and this is the Dick of the Month post.

Two women were trying to qualify for the women’s 100 meter dash and tied for third place.  They were an exact tie, which has apparently never happened before, so the Olympic rule-makers had to make new rules for just an occurrence.  The ladies in question were Allyson Felix and Jeneba Tarmoh.

They thought about a run-off or a coin-toss, perhaps some combination of the two.  But lo and behold we find there are some dischivalrous men on the American Olympic track teams.

His name is Justin Gatlin and he is representing the American team in the Olympics.  that’s right, an asshole like this pig is representing us, all while we talk about Saudi Arabia finally allowing women to compete in their name at all.

His idea on how to solve the problem was…

I’m not totally sure this is exactly the way he meant it.

That’s right…Jello-Wrestling.  He said, and I quote…

“I’m voting for Jell-O wrestling match. Red Jell-O. That’s my favorite.”

For his chauvinistic ways, Justin Gatlin wins this month’s Dick of the Month.  I kind of hope he loses every event he’s in.



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