Raptor Jesus? How About Monkey Jesus?

Do you have some talent at art?  Do you actually have said talent, or do you just think so?

No, no I’m not offering someone a job as an artist.  I’m just trying to figure out who might be a risk if we take a trip to a museum.

You see, in Zaragoza, Spain an 80-something year old woman saw that a portrait of Jesus painted onto a column at the local church was in disrepair.

This is what the painting on the column, done by Elias Garcia Martinez originally looked like:

Ecce Homo? So Jesus does support Homos, right?

But after around 100 years after it was painted, it has fallen into disrepair and looked something more like this…

Should’ve used permanent marker, instead of oil paint. That shit never comes off!

As you can see, that’s a bit rougher than the original was.  Here’s a side-by-side view of things:

Now, lo and behold, a woman in her 80s, Ms. Cecilia Giminez, came along and decided that she could fix the painting on her own.  So she bought some paints and started trying to touch up the painting.  After a while she decided that she should probably just give up and turn herself in.  What made her decide to turn herself in?  Probably when she stepped back from the column and realized she had done this:

“It looks like a child’s crayon drawing of a monkey in a ill-fitting tunic,” said one person, who we will call an art critic for lack of me bieng able to remember his name.

Needless to say there are differing accounts of what happened.  The local authorities claim she did it of her own accord, but she claims that the local clergy had given her their blessing to do the work and that she did it in broad daylight.

Either way everyone involved is in a pretty poor condition about it, especially Jesus by the looks of things.


In case you were curious of the title…


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