More Profitable Than Work!

I was heading to work a couple of nights ago to handle an overnight shift because my boss doesn’t understand that if you fire someone…somebody else has to do their job. It’s okay though, this only the second time they’ve done that to me in 6 months, I’m sure they learned their lesson this time, right?
So anyway, I took my fiancé’s car because it was 2am and I’ve got a headlight out. A headlight I can’t fixed because I’m working what feels, like 23.5 hours a day, lately.
I was stopped at a red light and saw a car fast approaching me from behind. I thought, “They’re not gonna hit me are they?”
Ever closer, without losing speed, they came.
“I think they’re gonna hit me.”
And yet still they closed in on me, full speed.
“Yeah, they’re definitely gonna hit me.”

I hope I'm wearing brown pants right now.  Well, whatever they were, they're brown now!

I hope I’m wearing brown pants right now. Well, whatever they were, they’re brown now!

My only option was to run the red light and get t-boned by the tri-axle dump truck coming through the intersection. Or sit there and cringe.
“Yup, they hit me.”

Welcome to my back seat, do you have a reservation?

Welcome to my back seat, do you have a reservation?

Well okay, actually it was more if a short screech followed by a “pash” sound as they just tapped my rear bumper.
I got out and checked the damages. They were in a BMW, I was in a ’94 Toyota Camry. They donated some grill paint to my back bumper, which wiped right off.
No fender crumpling, the trunk still worked, both rear lights were still good, and I didn’t even jolt in my seat.
The passenger claimed fault for distracting her husband by showing him a text. We all determined the damage was superficial, but I wanted to trade insurance just in case.
He said, “Okay, that’s fair. …or could we talk cash?”
I said, “How much cash are we talking?”
He said fifty, I said one hundred, and his wife pulls a wad of cash out. Hands me 5 twenties and tells me the Pearl Jam concert was awesome.
I wasn’t even late for work. Since it was only a 5 hour shift, I actually made more in the collision than I did at work.
Drive safe, folks.


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