Welcome to CEC, Can I Give You a Hand?

Talk about awkward conversations. A friend of ours that works Chuck E Cheese’s recently had one.
When you walk in the door they stamp your hand with a number stamp, pressed in iridescent ink that is invisible until you shine a black light on it.  Our friend was working that department; ideally you would stamp them on their left hand, for various reasons, not the least of which is that when they enter you are standing on their left side so it’s the closer hand and it’s the closer hand on their way out, too.

A group came in and she asked one of them, “Can I see your left hand?” so she could stamp it.

Then she saw this…

"When you find it, let me know."

“When you find it, let me know.”

Now that’s a pretty awkward conversation you’ve got going on there.


So I told you that story, to tell you this story.  When I found out about it, the following exchange occurred…


Me: “Hey, do you need a hand running that stamper at work?”

Friend: “Dude, I had no idea what to do in that situation!”

Me: “Flash him some boobage, he’ll forget about it.  He’ll also have one helluva story.”

Friend: “Psht.  Well it’s too late now.”

Me: “It’s never too late for boobage.”

Friend: “Urgh, whatever.”

Me: “Trust me.  Your tits are worth a round of applause.  Let’s give her a hand, folks!”

Friend: “…”

Me: “Okay, I’m done.  That’s all the more I can handle.”

Friend: “Have I ever told you I hate you.  A lot.”

Me (making a halo over my head): “Aww, yous don’t wuvs me?”

Friend: “Yeah, you are no angel.  And not when you’re an asshole will I love you.”

Me (clapping): “I applaud your determination, my dear.”


And then she man-handled me to death.


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