Veterans Day: 2013

So as you all know, or you should know at least, today is Veteran’s Day.  Unlike Memorial Day where we celebrate those who perished in the duty of their country, today is a day to celebrate everyone in the Military; past, present, and I would argue…future.

PTSD (Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder) is a serious issue with our military, as it has been with every military in the history of military conflict; and it’s not just the military, bullying children in their formative years can create PTSD symptoms in adults, abusive relationships or parenting, or even just being part of a traumatic experience (hence the name).  I’ve seen humor work wonders for dealing with PTSD.  It helps to get the person’s mind off the trauma.  So, in honor of those I served with, those I never got to serve with, and those who did waaaay more than I ever accomplished in my pitiful military career…here’s some military humor for you…

A buddy of mine enlisted...after 4 tries at the ASVAB test, he finally got a passing score.  He mans a tank; funny, huh?

A buddy of mine enlisted…after 4 tries at the ASVAB test, he finally got a passing score. He mans a tank; funny, huh?

Blowjobs in the thick of battle, true camaraderie!

Blowjobs in the thick of battle, true camaraderie!

When did we start hiring suicide bombers?

When did we start hiring suicide bombers?

Here’s a random joke, title links to the place I got it from:

Laziest Soldier:

A sergeant was addressing a squad of 20 and said: “I have a nice easy job for  the laziest man here. Put up your hand if you are the laziest.” 19 men raised  their hands, and the sergeant asked the other man “why didn’t you raise your  hand?” The man replied: “Too much trouble, Sarge.”

Here’s a few ‘declassified’ quotes from random members of the forces, although the submitters desired anonymity.  Culled from Strategy Page which is quickly becoming one of my new favorite sites.  Give it a look, definitely.

“I finally figured out that when a Turkish officer tells you, ‘It’s no problem,’ he means, for him,” EUCOM Major.

“Please don’t laugh. This is my job,” EUCOM Major explaining in great detail the approved procedures for dropping off VIPs

“If we wait until the last minute to do it, it’ll only  take a minute.”

“We are condemned men who are chained and will row in  place until we rot,” Lt. Colonel on life at his Command.

“I’ll be right back. I have to go pound my nuts flat…” Lt. Colonel, after being given a difficult task.

“I may be slow, but I do poor work…” a US Major.

“Don’t ever be the first…don’t ever be the last…and don’t ever volunteer to do anything….” A Navy Commander relating an old Navy proverb (I’ve seen it in land-based ideologies, too).  The reason is…the first guy into the room gets surprised by the ambush, the last guy into the room gets picked off silently by the enemy sniper, and the guys in the middle are the ones who survive to write the memoir about the brutal battle.

“The chance of success in these talks is the same as the number of ‘Rs’ in fat chance…” Civilian Gov’t Employee

“His knowledge in that topic is only Power Point deep,” US Major

“Ya know, in this Command, if the world were supposed to end tomorrow, it would still happen behind schedule,” Chief Warrant Officer

“Never pet a burning dog,” Lt. Colonel in the Tenn. Nat’l Guard

And finally, a quote attributed to late President Ronald Reagan: “Status Quo as you know is Latin for ‘the mess we’re in’.”

Stay tuned all week as I’m going to put up sections of the Murphy’s Law of Combat list, a few dozen a day, just to brighten your Veteran’s Week!


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