June Dick of the Month: Katie Couric

Katie Couric is a respected member of the journalistic community.  A big reason the Today show had such good ratings was Ms. Couric; she’s smart, funny, and she worked well with Matt Lauer.

There's that, too.

There’s that, too.

So of course, when she got her own show in September of 2012 she would use it to do great things to further humanity and inform the ignorant masses, right?

Hrm…guess not.

Hrm…guess not.

That’s right, episode 140 was a big expose on how violent video games are what caused the Newtown, Aurora Theatre, and the Columbine School Shootings.  Not to mention the story of Daniel Petric who gunned down his mother and father.  Why?  As Katie’s show puts it, “Daniel Petric from Wellington, Ohio also played violent video games to the extreme, and when his parents tried to take them away, he shot them point-blank.”

Nope, she uses her show to pander to the fear-mongering masses who believe that Video Games are just murder simulators used by terrorists to create emotionless homicidal suburban commandos.

See?  Nobody wants to become that.

See? Nobody wants to become that.

Sure video games can cause violence, but there’s usually alcohol, drugs, or mental instability as an underlying attribute to the violence.  I know me, personally, I’m far less likely to be homicidal if I get regular doses of gaming in.

Gaming, of any kind, reduces stress and helps a person get their mind off of things.  This is why soldiers used to carry decks of cards, chess boards, dice, and the like into battle with them.  While on a prolonged campaign in between murdering countless enemy you can take your mind off the fact that you’re cold, wet, covered in lice, and smell like you just bathed in pig piss.

Even a frustrating game isn’t a waste; when I’m getting my well-armored ass owned trying to take over a castle in Mount & Blade I find myself fuming over the strength of crossbowmen.  But you know what I’m not doing?  Stabbing my boss who keeps firing my decent employees out from underneath me and then blaming me for having overtime every week.  Why?  Because I’m not fretting over my payroll, I’m fretting over fictional crossbowmen.  And since I’m not mentally incompetent, I know said crossbowmen don’t exist.  So once I turn the game off, I have no real worries at the moment because I realize I was angry about something that didn’t really matter.

Video games are a tool that can improve hand-eye coordination, can relieve symptoms of ADHD, can give Autistic children an avenue of communication and a sense of accomplishment, can bring together varied cliques with a common interest, and numerous other benefits.

But Katie Couric is professional journalist, she certainly didn’t commit to actual fear-mongering.  I mean, she talked about the benefits of Video Games, too, right?

Or not.

Or not.

Okay, so Video Games will turn you into a murderer, then.  There’s plenty of people who play video games that don’t murder people.  Surely you can’t think that those people are worse off because they played—

Well fuck you, Katie.

Well fuck you, Katie.

Quinn Pitcock ended his NFL career because of a video game addiction?  Surely it wasn’t because he suffered from Depression and ADHD.  Nope, definitely video game addiction.  Oh, wait, except that he went through rehab for his video game addiction (also for his depression) and still failed on the Seattle Seahawks and Detroit Lions.  But he’s been playing for the Orlando Predators Arena Football team since 2012 where he has 11 tackles, 4.5 sacks, and 1 forced fumble; which is actually better overall than his NFL career of 18 tackles and 1.5 sacks, with no fumbles forced.

So what do you have to say for yourself, Katie?

"I’d say Fuck You, Dick."

“I’d say Fuck You, Dick.”

Oh…damn.  Katie Couric is gangsta.  Good thing I brought backup.

Power Fingerrrr!

Power Fingerrrr!

Katie Couric for your fear-mongering anti-gaming propaganda I hereby declare you the June, 2013 Dick of the Month.








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