July Dick of the Month: Sean Hannity

The rules of the Dick of the Month say as follows:

“The exception to this rule is if he is a constant dick, in which case he must do something unusually dickish in the predescribed months to qualify.”

As such Sean Hannity is usually off limits, because he’s generally just a bag of warm farts that someone has finaggled into making rough humanistic sounds.

Most of those sounds are, "Fffuuuuck Obaaaaammaaaaa!"

Most of those sounds are, “Fffuuuuck Obaaaaammaaaaa!”

But I’ve decided to go ahead and let this qualify, because it wasn’t just on his show it was in a Playboy interview.  In the interview he talks about President Barack Obama’s childhood habitat…

PLAYBOY: Trump was one of the most vocal skeptics of Obama’s American citizenship. You’ve also said Obama grew up in Kenya. Do you regret saying that now?

HANNITY: But he did grow up in Kenya, and he told The New York Times that he went to a school there and one of the most beautiful things on the planet is Islamic prayer at sunset.

PLAYBOY: Are you fueling the myth that Obama’s a Muslim from Africa by saying that?

HANNITY: I never fueled the myth. How do you come up with this stuff? He did go to a Muslim school. He writes about it in his own book.

PLAYBOY: He did not grow up in Kenya.

HANNITY: He went to a Muslim school in Indonesia, or wherever it was, Kenya. I forget. Now you’ve got me. I think it was Indonesia. I’m trying to remember his biography. It’s going back so long. He admits he went to a Muslim school. It’s on his audiobook, if you want a tape of it—you can hear him say it himself.

Just for the sake of clarity, Barack Obama did live in Indonesia at one point: From 1967-1971.  Obama was born in 1961, so he lived in Indonesia from the age of six to the age of ten.

Now to be fair to Hannity, the liberals say that Obama never went to a Muslim school and that he only went to school in Hawaii.  Except that Hannity’s right, from the age of 6 to the age of ten, roughly 1st grade to 4th grade, he would have been schooled in Indonesia.

Unfortunately for Hannity his point crumbles when you learn that said Indonesian school was St. Francis of Assisi Catholic School of Menteng, Jakarta.  That’s right, that Muslim school he went to was run by Franciscan Catholics.

Ah-ha!  But that was only for two and a half years, the other year and a half he went to a public school in Jakarta.  Sadly for Hannity it wasn’t a Muslim school as it’s a non-religious public school.  Kind of like what American public schools are supposed to be.

"Susie, was it worth the eternal hellfire of damnation?" "Totally."

“Susie, was it worth the eternal hellfire of damnation?” “Totally.”

Now, however, we get to the even more egregious part of things.  Hannity’s a Republican talking head, it’s his job to speak against Obama, so we kind of expect that.  But it’s this line that gets to me…

“[…]school in Indonesia, or wherever it was, Kenya. I forget.”

Yeah, ’cause Indonesia is totally just a city in Kenya or something.  Let me show you a map…


But it’s okay, it’s not like Indonesia is as big as Sean Hannity’s home state (New York) or anything like that…

Oh wait, yes it is.  Indonesia is the 15th largest country in the world.  To put that in perspective, the U.K. is 80th in the world.  And Indonesia is almost 8 times larger than the U.K.

Indonesia has an area of almost 735 thousand square miles.  That makes it larger than Iraq and Afghanistan, combined.  As a matter of fact, if you throw Hannity’s home state into the mix, Indonesia is still bigger.

Just to be a dick, throw New York, Iraq, Afghanistan, and the U.K. into the same place and it could still hide behind Indonesia and Kenya, combined.

So for being an all-around asshole and a racist, xenophobic, hate-mongering failure of World Geography…Sean Hannity, you are the July Dick of the Month!


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