For those of you who don’t know, I live in Pennsylvania. I’m not particularly proud of that, but at least we don’t have a corrupt congresswoman who was convicted of 5 felonies, or a man known as the Swiss Cheese Pervert, certainly not the place where an endangered Leopard was locked in a cage at the zoo with a male to mate and then killed by said male, and especially it is not the place where a man chased a 28-year-old for fifteen miles before forcing him off the road and gunning him down.
Wait a minute…all those things are from Pennsylvania? Well shit…I’m moving to Wyoming, I figure with the lowest population of all U.S. States, it can’t have nearly as much stupid shit happen.
Well there’s always been something about Pennsylvania that annoyed me: The Flag. It’s a nice looking flag, don’t get me wrong, but it doesn’t make a whole lot of sense. Let’s go over it piece by piece, here…
Okay, so we have the Eagle to show our loyalty to the greater idea of the U.S.; we have sheaths of wheat and a plough, symbols of our agricultural and economic history and prevalence; and we have maize and olive branches under the crest to show we recognize our history as land-thieving Europeans who want to live in peace on our stolen land.
Okay, so maybe that last part was a little heavy-handed.
Anyway, here are the two parts that really don’t make sense: The Horses and the Ship.
The horses are supposed to be Draft Horses, that is beasts of burden used to carry or pull heavy things, like the aforementioned plough. Except that the way that the horses are drawn, they look more like Light Riding Horses; which cannot do the job of a draft horse at all.
And secondly the ship…it’s a 3-masted ship, probably a gaff-rigged large schooner if not an outright Carrack type ship. Carracks were designed to be able to sail long distances in rough seas, for instance Christopher Columbus’s flagship, the Santa Maria, was a large Carrack. We’ll assume, since the Schooner was one of the most popular types of ship in the U.S. back in the day, that the ship in question is a 3-masted Schooner.
A ship of that type would be used for oceanic travel. Now if it had only had two sails, then we could assume it was one of the small-style schooners that were popular within the Great Lakes. But that is pretty clearly an ocean-faring ship.
What does that have to do with anything regarding Pennsylvania, though, you might ask?
Because we’re a land-locked state! We don’t have an oceanic coast!
These are the kinds of things that affect me at my most vulnerable. You know…when I’m bored at work and staring out the window at the flag poles.
Okay, so I have a very loose definition of vulnerable, too.