It’s no secret that I’m not all that great at telling when people are flirting with me. Lady Police Officers or Gay Male Cashiers.
Back when the wife and I were still early in our relationship we were going out to eat and decided on Olive Garden for some dinner.
Olive Garden: Obama Approved!
This wasn’t exactly an uncommon thing, but it was the first time we had gone to this particular Olive Garden. We usually went to the one on the other side of town.
As usual the food was delicious, especially the desserts. However there was one strange facet to this particular visit:
The Waitress!
Who, me? Tee-hee!
She was everything I was looking for in a waitress. She was good-looking, she was friendly, and most importantly…she brought me food. However there was just one problem with her. While she looked me in the eye with a pleasant smile and listened intently while I ordered my food, she would then turn at the hip and give Mimi a disinterested look while she scribbled down whatever the wife said. And here’s the kicker; once Mimi would order, the waitress would turn her head back to me and stare at me as if asking for permission. Once I nodded, then she would dash away to get our drinks, food, etc.
She would cheerily chat with me as she sat my food down, and then always as an afterthought she would drop the wife’s food in front of her with a curt, “Careful, plate’s hot.”
So basically we had this going the whole meal…
What I saw…
What the Wife Saw…
But if you think that’s a kicker, wait until we hit dessert. I ordered my dessert and then she started to walk away, only for Mimi to stop her with a polite ‘Ooo, wait‘. The waitress turned her hips as Mimi ordered a piece of cheesecake. She then turned her whole body to face me and silently gave me this look…
She stared at me for about 30 full seconds before I nodded. Then she calmly wheeled about and went to get our desserts. Once everything was said and done we paid and were preparing to leave. I calculated the tip out, and if I recall it was about $8 at 20%.
I asked the wife how much she wanted to leave for the tip and got a similar reaction as the waitress gave me.
I explained very calmly that I had received fantastic service, myself.
“But I suddenly see your point. Very well.”
In the end we compromised. I only left a $1 tip and Mimi didn’t divorce me. We also didn’t go back to that Olive Garden for almost a year.
~RCS
Richard C. Shaffer 