Ohhh Romney-sama!

During the last election cycle, presidential at least, there were two fellows running on the conservative side of things. Mitt Romney and Paul Ryan. I’ve made a few comments about the Romney-Ryan ticket back when that was a thing. Aaand that’s about as political as this post’s going to get.

What I brought it up for is because during the election there was a funny picture that the wife found. Being anime fans we found this picture very amusing:


The wife is into Yaoi, very…very into Yaoi, so she found it in a porn-search. She didn’t like it sexually, it actually made her feel weird that she enjoyed the picture. But a while ago Paul Ryan was in the news again, being a replacement for John Boehner and speaking at the Republican Convention.

So we were reminded of that picture and decided to look at it, but we couldn’t remember which computer we had saved it on (was it the desktop, the laptop, maybe my flash drive or hers, or possibly even the external hard drive?).

So we jumped on the ever-faithful…Google. She felt we probably wouldn’t be able to find the picture, I said, “Why not? How many possible pictures like that could be out there?”


So, I searched for “Romney-sama” on Google images. And I was very surprised by the results…here are some of the better ones (all pictures link to their original locations).


Oh my…so firm.

obama-daisukiI have learned in my studies of Japan that Daisuki is the common way of saying “I love you.”  From what I understand it literally translates to “I kinda  like you.”, because Japanese people are apparently adorable.

avablaarghgarghrolledarandomimagepostedincomment1684652at_b8175e486143fba8d13fd9aff81b3c14Adorable…and weird. O_0

They don’t stop at Obama and Romney or Romney and Ryan, either…

This one's just disturbing.

That one’s just disturbing.

After that last one, how about a nice calm, soothing Obama weeabo meme?


Okay, now that everyone feels littler safer in the world…


I love the look on Obama’s face in that picture.

And finally, a reminder that the wife’s hunt for Yaoi is what got us on this topic.





Memorial Day 2015

As is pretty usual on the real holidays (Veteran’s Day, Memorial Day, y’know, holidays that actually matter) we are bringing some solemn humor to DickJutsu.com.  We’ve done it for prior Memorial Day celebrations.  As is common here, we have a photopost full of humorous military memes, jokes, and such.  So let’s get to it.  If you’ve served some of these may hit pretty close to home, if you haven’t…remember that some of this shit is stuff that people who do serve have to deal with.

First a few jokes at the expense of my Army buddies…

2015-md6 2015-md3


And nobody can forget the first wave of any war…the Air Force.

2015-md4 2015-md7 2015-md11


And we can’t neglect the Navy.  Without them how would the Marines get across the world to win our wars?

Navy-Laser SMLPOHurt-when-you-pee

Speaking of the good ‘ol USMC…


Okay, so maybe I’m a little biased.  Here’s a few at Marine  expense…

2015-md10 No-light1 2015-md9

And don’t forget the cute widdle Coast Guard!

Coast-guard MM-Show-us-your-life-jackets

So, remember…this a day to celebrate the men, women, and cute puppies that serve in the U.S. Military!


And always remember.  Troops in combat situations love care packages.  Whether they have yummy snacks, a flak jacket that Army budget cuts couldn’t give them, or y’know, the important stuff…



Photopost: Disney Derp!

To make up for the lack of posts and for the late notice on the Avon, Mimi found some interesting pictures.  If you’ve seen a Disney movie in the past 60 years, you might know who some of these folks are…although everything’s just a little…well, off.  So, here she is…with her weird Disney stuff…

Yay, its-a me, Mimi-o!  Err. sorry I mean, it’s me…Mimi.  You remember me…

She might as well glue the hand there, with how often I spout these puns.

You thought it was gonna be the chick with the knife, again, huh?

The first thing I had to decide on was what Text to use for this post.  I thought, maybe Times New Roman? No, too plain. Courier? No, no, too old-school. Maybe even…Ariel?

I decided on...

I decided on Georgia.  Don’t ask why.


Maybe we’ll move on to something newer, like the wonderful movie Frozen!


Anna sees what you did there…also over THERE!!


No good?  What about something a little older, then?  Maybe some Cinderella?


Tra la la la-phtbbb!


Okaaay…these are starting to get weird.  I’m thinking some people may just have too much time on their hands.  I think I need a drink.


Nope, I’m good…sober is good.


So let’s move on to one of my Disney favorites: Beauty and the Beast!


“As a specermen, yass, I’m inteemaderping!”


Of course, maybe Gaston got off lucky with a refusal…

...and a deadly plummet?

…and a deadly plummet?


By God!  This is all horribly wrong!  Okay, okay, calm down everyone.  What about something as wholesome and pure as…as…Winnie The Pooh?!


That worried look as he examines the stub is perfect.


We started on The Little Mermaid, let’s end on it, too…


With some Little Nightmers!


And now she has legs!!

And now she has legs, too!!


Father’s Day 2014

I don’t normally do these kinds of posts for the “buy a card” holidays, like Valentine’s Day, Mother’s Day, etc.  But I heard a really good joke about dads a few months ago that I’ve been patiently waiting for the right moment to spring on you folks!


So anyway, I figured I’d throw a few jokes I found around the internet on here and make it a full Father’s Day Photopost!

But first my joke…

We should really thank our Dads for bringing us into this world since our Moms were probably tired and not in the mood.


Okay, now that we have that out of the way…on to the funny(ier) pictures.



Speaking of mothers on Father’s Day, this would be a terrible Skype call to get.




And if you like Redneck jokes, well just know two things: 1. They’re not all jokes.  And 2. Sometimes they look like this…


Reminds me of my days back home on the farm.

Reminds me of my days back home on the farm.

Now, a couple of those funny ‘e-cards’:

Fair enough.

Fair enough.




And because I like to end things on a creepy note at times…




Oh, right…Happy Father’s Day and all that jazz.  Or as I always tell my father, “Happy Didn’t Wear A Condom Day!”

Random Photopost

I usually try to have a topic when I do a Photopost, but I’ve just been in a silly mood reading jokes and making some nifty meme pictures.  Here are the ones I’ve made.  If you’d like to make some yourself, why not take a trip to Meme Generator and make one; post the results in the comments section if you feel up to it!

This one's pretty sick, I admit it.

This one’s pretty sick, I admit it.



Arachnophobia summed up pretty nicely.

Arachnophobia summed up pretty nicely.




This picture is weird enough on its own, but I chose it for the joke and made it even weirder.

This picture is weird enough on its own, but I chose it for the joke and made it even weirder.


0.0 Whu...?

0.0 Whu…?


Wank you very much for returning my call, madam.

Wank you very much for returning my call, madam.

And we’ll end with two Bad Luck Brian memes I created…




Memorial Day 2014

You know what day it is…well actually what day it was yesterday.  You see, in honor of Memorial Day, which honors the troops killed in action in our uniforms, under our flags, to ensure we get nifty things like the internet, buildings that aren’t bombed into rubble, and potable water I played a nifty game called War Thunder.  It takes place in World War II.  It counts.

Anyway, it’s time to honor the troops with funny pictures, like we are wont to do every year around Memorial Day (and Veteran’s Day, and Independence Day, and well…okay so it’s a cheap easy post to make when I’m doing holiday stuff).

First we’ll honor the Army:

Their motto isn't Army Sane, after all.

Their motto isn’t Army Sane, after all.

Then the Air Force:

us air force boobs

USAF, the only branch where ‘bombing’ a test is a good thing.


We can’t forget the Marine Corps; Ooh-Rah!




And, of course, our friends in the Navy:


Oh Captain, my Captain!


Always remember the fierce wardogs that win victory to protect this country from all threats, foreign, domestic, and maybe even imaginary.  To the tanks and planes of tomorrow, all the way from the days of cavalry charges:


And speaking of wardogs, let’s not forget our trusty k-9 companions who keep our troops warm in foxholes and ruthlessly bite, maul, and eat whatever may attempt to harm them.

Rowr!  I are the Viking Dog!

Rowr! I are the Viking Dog!

But always remember that Memorial Day is, at its heart, a solemn day to remember those who didn’t make it back to enjoy the laughs we share right now.


Roosevelt said, “Speak softly and carry a big stick!”  Soldiers are our stick, they are the reason why we are speaking English without a bunch of unnecessary ‘u‘s and why we have the choice to hang the flag on our porch, burn in a bonfire, or cover a table with it.  Regardless of where the country is, where it’s headed, or what may come of it…the soldiers are the reason we are a country.  We stand on the foundation they have built for us, with their blood, sweat, tears, bodies, and sheer willpower.




Behind The Scenes: July DotM

A couple days ago I finally got the July Dick of the Month up.  I had a small stack of pictures on my desk (figuratively speaking, of course; I work in a digital format) and had to decide which one I wanted to use for the Christian school punch line.  I finally went this one…

"Susie, was it worth the eternal hellfire of damnation?" "Totally."

“Susie, was it worth the eternal hellfire of damnation?” “Totally.”

But there were a couple of other good ones I didn’t use.  I hated to waste them, so here’s a short Photopost to show you the ones that were ‘cutting-room floor’ for the Dick of the Month post.  A few of them are just generally funny, a few of them are tragically thought-provoking.  One is just cruelly thought-provoking.  I’ll try not to end on the cruel one.



If you’re happy and you know it, rub your dick! What, the book says we can’t do that, either?


Those poor doctors, if only we could make it up to them by paying them inordinate sums to save our lives. 

Yeah, this was the cruel one I was talking about. That God I didn’t end with–whoops.


The Godcebo effect.



Cold Weather Wit

For those of you who are not aware that the United States is undergoing a cold snap of epic proportions, I would just like you all to know that I had to do a foot patrol just a few moments ago.  I wear spectacles and when I wear a face mask for warmth my breath will fog my glasses up at times.

Needless to say my glasses fogged up while I was outside, when I came back inside I removed them to let them warm up and defog.  That’s when I realized my vision still looked foggy…I think my corneas froze over.

Anyway, to try to warm the spirits (it is -29 degrees Farenheit outside right now), here’s a Photopost about cold weather.

c94db6b87266d63730f52e73d3b11a52 coldweather_zps623596e3 payne0117 



Atlanta right now is 17 degrees.  Good luck folks, welcome to the North.

Atlanta right now is 17 degrees. Good luck folks, welcome to the North.

What you don't realize is, this is a picture of Houston.

What you don’t realize is, this is a picture of Houston.



And one final picture, just to brighten your day a bit.  Cute kitties!


Sooo cuute!!

Sooo cuute!!



Aaaand, back outside I go.  *~Whine*

Twilight Conclusion?

And the conclusion to our anti-Twilight message!  For those of you not keeping up with us through the Holiday Break, here are parts One, Two, and Three!


Definately a better love story than Twilight!

1325298016-94387 417102_289818804422587_211186565619145_741141_125770487_n 562918_348149671888876_155009564536222_862084_2048138246_n 551188_3669748031867_1519858111_33236379_78269721_n castaway 560439_335400943192928_311907642208925_866276_682892078_n 564307_346753608715974_552851238_n 315403_369752959762543_605291359_n


Twilight Actress?

Just so that we don’t get more posts about Twilight than they’ve movies of it, we’ll do lambasting of Kristen Stewart’s acting prowess…or lack thereof here and then finish it up next week with our last post on the topic.  If you haven’t been keeping up with us, here’s the first and second posts on the subject.


This puppu is a more fearsome vampire than Bella Swan in the last movie.

what the hell is wrong with me

Y’know if she had that facial expression the whole time, it would be a totally different tone for the movies.

demotivational-posters-untitled6 425146_367231669972959_205344452828349_1364952_2055777642_n 425249_387087267970413_100000074286675_1490315_1045474820_n blush 554626_366792350041355_446675125_n 36bc09d968ba92a30634c59982bfb9 576851_535312763161410_1487545087_n 68359_557888824240575_662969716_n


Previous Older Entries