Officer Krista Did What?

In my ‘day job’ I have to deal with the city police on a semi-regular basis. One particular night when I had to call the police the call was responded to by two officers. One was a regular we deal with; I like to call him Officer Rambo. He’s always got this wild-eyed look to him and can’t stand still.

One time I called to report a guy smoking a crack pipe in the street in front of my workplace and the guy drove away before they got there. Officer Rambo remarked, “Dude! You gotta call sooner, do you have any idea how fun it is to bash out a window with a baton and drag a cracked-out hippy out of a car window?”

Officer Rambo, the later years.

Officer Rambo, the later years.

But the other officer was an athletic brunette. She was cute, charming, and very helpful with the case. We’ll call her Officer Krista, because that was her name. Probably…I’m kind of bad with names and this happened over a year ago.

So anyway, Rambo and Krista show up and take statements from my partner and I. At the end of the whole issue I offered them a cup of coffee or such. They politely declined. Rambo reminded me that there is justice to be done or some crazy shit, I’m sure.

That was when Krista tore a sheet out of her pocket notebook, wrote her name and cell number on it and said, “Here’s my number. It’s my cell, so if you need anything, even if I’m not on-duty, go ahead and give me a call.”

Now, that’s what I call polite! I was telling my new partner about the story and about how helpful of a police officer she was. He shrugged, “Yeah, all the city officers have business cards with their name, badge number, and office numbers on them.”

That’s right, they do! But she wrote her personal cell number down, with her name, and no badge number…and, uhh…no office number…

OH MY GOD!!

 

That works, too.

That works, too.

She was hitting on me! Wasn’t she? Wasn’t she, Rambo?!

Duh-stallone

It was a moot point, I was already married, but still. A cute girl with a nice job was hitting on me! Do you know what that means?  It means the city cops must be drinking on the job, is what it means.

~RCS

Advertisements

Veteran’s Day Part Two!

I couldn’t help but spread this one along, such a cute way of coming home from a war to meet your children. 🙂

~RCS

Update: For some reason the video disappeared from the post.  Sorry about that, should be working now, I think.

Photopost: Kitties…Of All Kinds

Today’s photopost involves cats of every shape, size, and determination.  There are so many models of kittehs noawadays!

First of all, a kitty who wants some attention…

Pet me, pet me, pet me! At least look at me!!

And now they even come in palm-size models.

I’m the new iKitty 4.

This one comes with a handy stand for easy display.

This is my thinking pose.

This one’s getting a little ‘cat nap’ after a hard day’s work of wreaking hell.

Yous can puneesh me whens I wakes up…ZZzzz

I’ll name this one Oliver Kitty; I’ll call him Twisty for short.

Please sir…may I have some more?

They even have flying models!

Come in Tower, this is KI-77 coming in for a landing.

This one will tie your shoes for you.

Let’s see now…over, then under, then…how I do it, again?

And finally…we even have a teenage-girl model of kitty.  Comes complete with camera phone!

Am I doin’ the duckface, right?

~RCS

BONUS!!

He was surprised by his own cutness!

Photopost: Babies and Children

I won’t lie…I’m not a big fan of children.  I consider them somewhat of a necessary evil; very rarely entertaining or cute like most people claim they are.  But occasionally, just every once in a  while, they actually are cute.  Usually with the addition of humorous content to them, like a caption…like the following pictures:

Because she's a wizard, Harry.

Here’s a very young Sonny Corleone, proving that he’s always been the firebrand of the movie mafioso family.

Whatever you say Bossman--err, Bossboy.

Here’s a reminder that not all children are cute…as a matter of fact, not many children are ever cute.  But this kid makes Mr. Bean look good.

How did such a cute woman...make such a hideous creature fall out of her body?

Here’s proof that children are stupid.  I sure as hell wouldn’t take candy from this guy…

As a matter fact, I'd run like hell if he offered me candy. And I'm an adult.

Here’s future economics professor.

I wish I could afford a doll house...

Along with our economics professor, above, we have a future rap artist below…

And here’s a note to all the parents out there who think it’s okay to bring your children along to a fancy dinner.  For the record…it’s not.  McDonald’s is one thing, but don’t bring them to ruin my anniversary dinner at Olive Garden.  I mean, really.

I actually am rather fond of those 'no-kids' restaurants.

Well that’s all folks.  I’ll let you get back to pretending to work…I’ve got something to do myself, too…

Maybe I should get a puppy?

~RCS

Free lessons in Dickjutsu by e-maill. Or if you don't get the joke, it's the subscription button.