Did I Get Hit On? Wife Edition!

Unfortunately with Comipo I can’t make perfect reenactments of stories because of resource and space constraints. So here’s the whole story from the last comic.

One day Rich and I decided to hit Sheetz for dinner after work, because we needed gas and didn’t really feel like cooking. We just went in our uniforms (because why the hell would I get changed just to go to Sheetz?) and were waiting for our number to get called.


waiting too long


We both started looking at random stuff, Rich wondered a little bit down a nearby aisle and I was looking at the little refrigerator where they keep the cold sandwiches and such; trying not to drool on the food. And as I was staring at the food a young boy, probably about 15, olive skin, brown eyes, dark spiked up hair and wearing a polo shirt with the buttons undone and a gold chain across his exposed chest, walked up to me and said “Hey, do you know what the weather will be like tomorrow?”


He could have done this and I'd still probably be oblivious.

He could have done this and I’d still probably be oblivious.


And me, the derp that I am, didn’t realize what he was doing at first, so I replied “Sorry, Sweetie I didn’t watch the news today.” At this point Rich has popped his head out of the aisle with a look of “Oh, who’s this, one of your old friends from high school or something?”


who dat


We’re still not sure if he thought if my uniform jacket wasn’t mine, like maybe my dad’s or something and then realized that is was actually mine and that I was too old for him. Or he was afraid of Rich, but soon after Rich popped out he patted me on shoulder and said “Oh, uh thank you.  H-have a good night.”


ouch hawkward


After he walked away I looked at Rich and said “I think he may have been hitting on me.” And we both started to laugh, because we honestly have no idea what he would have followed that up with.  We thought maybe if I said that it would be cold tomorrow he’d say something like “Oh, then I can keep you warm.”  But that’s about all we could come up with.  And then the old jokes started…


at least that's what they told me


After we came up with the theory that he may have realized I was older than he thought, one of the first things out of Rich’s mouth was “I think he wanted you to sand blast his dick with your dusty cunt.” I started laughing so hard I almost fell over.  But then I reminded Rich that he’s older than me and said “Well, you’re so old that you ejaculate dust!”  We were both laughing so hard.  We even freaked out a nearby couple.


"Did you hear what she said, Darling?  I know, dear, just ignore them."

“Did you hear what she said, Darling? I know, dear, just ignore them.”


We could tell because the girl kept clutching the guy she was with harder and they were both slowly moving away from us. It was hilarious!  I’m kinda surprised the Sheetz workers didn’t ask us to leave because we were laughing so hard.


DJ Comic: February Holidays Part 4

I’m sure by now no one really expects the comics to be on time.  I know I’m not super great at posting things on time…

owl rly

But things get kinda backed up when your flash drive pretty much just implodes itself.  And said flash drive had all my comic ideas and such.  And the dumbass that I am never remember to back anything up recently; I may have done it a year or so ago, maybe.  But along with all my comic stuff I lost almost ten years’ worth of random pictures, stories, and just a ton of other stuff.  Although I am pretty impressed that it lasted as long as it did.  So now that that’s out of the way, on to the comic!


This week was supposed to just be Flirting Week, but I think this is much funnier.

Almost eight years together and he still has to ask, tsk, tsk.



Did I Get Hit On? Part Deux!

It’s no secret that I’m not all that great at telling when people are flirting with me.  Lady Police Officers or Gay Male Cashiers.

Back when the wife and I were still early in our relationship we were going out to eat and decided on Olive Garden for some dinner.


Olive Garden: Obama Approved!

This wasn’t exactly an uncommon thing, but it was the first time we had gone to this particular Olive Garden.  We usually went to the one on the other side of town.

As usual the food was delicious, especially the desserts.  However there was one strange facet to this particular visit:

The Waitress!

Who, me? Tee-hee!

Who, me? Tee-hee!


She was everything I was looking for in a waitress.  She was good-looking, she was friendly, and most importantly…she brought me food.  However there was just one problem with her.  While she looked me in the eye with a pleasant smile and listened intently while I ordered my food, she would then turn at the hip and give Mimi a disinterested look while she scribbled down whatever the wife said.  And here’s the kicker; once Mimi would order, the waitress would turn her head back to me and stare at me as if asking for permission.  Once I nodded, then she would dash away to get our drinks, food, etc.

She would cheerily chat with me as she sat my food down, and then always as an afterthought she would drop the wife’s food in front of her with a curt, “Careful, plate’s hot.”

So basically we had this going the whole meal…

What I saw…



What the Wife Saw…



But if you think that’s a kicker, wait until we hit dessert.  I ordered my dessert and then she started to walk away, only for Mimi to stop her with a polite ‘Ooo, wait‘.  The waitress turned her hips as Mimi ordered a piece of cheesecake.  She then turned her whole body to face me and silently gave me this look…


She stared at me for about 30 full seconds before I nodded.  Then she calmly wheeled about and went to get our desserts.  Once everything was said and done we paid and were preparing to leave.  I calculated the tip out, and if I recall it was about $8 at 20%.

I asked the wife how much she wanted to leave for the tip and got a similar reaction as the waitress gave me.



I explained very calmly that I had received fantastic service, myself.


"But I suddenly see your point. Very well."

“But I suddenly see your point. Very well.”

In the end we compromised.  I only left a $1 tip and Mimi didn’t divorce me.  We also didn’t go back to that Olive Garden for almost a year.