Welcum two Stock Home, Njoy Yur Steh.

I’m sure we’ve all seen those silly posts on FaceBook, Reddit, Tumblr, Twitter, and wherever else people frequently go to poke fun at idiots. And you know exactly the kind of posts I’m talking about…

Re: Holocaust

Re: Holocaust

Stuff like this…

Re: Time Zones

Re: Time Zones

Or that…

Re: Genetics

Re: Genetics

and especially that.

I wonder if you’re all like me. You laugh, you hate the world for existing for a moment, and then you chalk it up to somebody trolling or just being silly because surely no one is really that stupid.

Re: Mediocre

Re: Mediocre

But then you see it…in real life. That friend’s e-mail that tells you how to make nifty blue glow sticks when in reality they’re making a deadly chlorine bomb, your grandma warning about people hiding out under cars and cutting your ankles off with a machete when you’re in a parking garage, or that co-worker who tells you they’re going to How Why E on vacation. Either way they bring into question the person’s gullibility and make you question the whole country’s education system.

Re: The reason why Tigers eat their young.

Re: The reason why Tigers eat their young.

That’s right folks, nobody is immune: Sometimes those people really do exist. You know them by name, you live with them, you work alongside them. Hell they may even get paid more than you!

That is my personal case, a young lady was hired at the place I work as a part-timer a few months ago and during a department restructuring she got bumped up to full-time employment. Now she’s a nice enough girl, but she gets paid 25 cents an hour more than me. She’s a regular working in her department, while I am the department manager for my own department. That’s infuriating enough, but it doesn’t help that our departments overlap a lot. She does some of the same work I do…of course like I said, she gets paid more than me to do it. She also gets 3 dollars an hour more than the regular workers in my department…to do half the same work as we do.

She does half of what we do, then goes back and files papers and helps sort the mail for the rest of the day. Hell, I’ll sort mail for a 25 cent raise, if that means I can stop worrying about scheduling, payroll, managing patrols, incident reports, safety seminars, fighting off Professor Moriarty with a blunt stick, fixing the access mainframe, putting out the kitchenette fires when people forget to turn off empty coffee pots in the break rooms, and chasing away homeless people who try to sleep in our parking garage.

Mail sorting sounds pretty nice, now doesn’t it?

But of course, there’s always an explanation for stuff like that, right? Maybe she has me solidly outdone in education. Maybe she has a Master’s Degree in mail sorting, compared to my 4th grade education in geography? Of course, my geography knowledge definitely makes me look smart in e-mails.

You see, while she was doing some of the same work as me and my crew, she received a message to be forwarded to someone else. This is the message she forwarded (minus identifiable information)…

Re: Stockholm, Sweden

Re: Reel Educashun

She is of course talking about Stock Home, Sweden.

Also known as: Stockholm, Sweden.

Also known as: Stockholm.

Maybe she was just in a difficult relationship and has been affected by Stock Home Syndrome, right?

BTW, in case you didn’t want to do the math…that’s a pay difference in her favor of over $500 a year. Maybe I should move to Sore Ache, Switzerland or See Owl, South Korea, maybe Bay Shing, China…ooo, I’ll bet there’s plenty of good jobs in Pray Tore A, South Africa.

~RCS

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Jokes In Poor Taste…Why Must They Be So Funny?

Okay folks, I was watching videos on YouTube and in the comments section of a comedian’s video wherein he made a 9/11 joke, I saw this line of comments.  To save their anonymity, and the trouble of screen-capping such a long conversation, I’ll just summarize it here for you.  Ooo!  I know, we can play a game of it.  Put in the comments how far you made it before you got too worked up and stopped reading, how’s about that?  Sounds fun, right?  Let’s do it…and remember, each comment is in reply to the one before it:

Guys seriously, stop making 9/11 jokes. They’re just plane wrong.

Yeah, and Holocaust jokes aren’t funny, Anne Frankly, I won’t stand for it

Woah, I did Nazi that coming.

At least they’re not rape jokes. To me, all rape jokes just seem forced.

Blind jokes are just as bad. I don’t see the humor in them.

What about deaf ones? I’ve never heard a good one.

All I know is that cripple jokes are terrible. I just can’t stand them.

At least we’re not talking lesbian jokes. Those are for pussies.

Cum on guys, no gay jokes please.

Hey let’s take it slow, we just got over slave jokes. They just don’t seem to work for us anymore.

Dude stop with the slave jokes, I have African-Americans on my family tree…… They’re still hangin’ there.

If I hear another Muslim joke I think I’m gonna explode!

At least you guys aren’t telling Asian jokes, there’s way too many of them.

I would make a joke about sluts, but it would be way too easy.

I was going to make a gay joke, butt fuck it.

I would make a rape joke, but everyone is saying no.

Yeah, but let’s face it! Vagina jokes aren’t funny either, period.

And those pedophile jokes… wow. Talk about immaturity.

No, toilet humor is probably the worst, I mean you get so much shit for that.

Number of jokes that were politically correct?  0.  Number of funny ones…your choice.

~RCS

BTW, clearly I read them all…because I don’t have PC switch in my brain; I laughed at each one.

Put These Idiots In ‘Death Fences’

Some of you may have heard of the Southern Baptist (what is it with these people?  They’re like the Taliban of Christianity!) preacher from North Carolina (I’ll bet he voted in favor of the recent amendment in NC) who spoke of putting all the homosexuals in the country into death camps created by building hundreds of miles of electrified fencing.  Admittely he was godfully compassionate, talking about dropping food into the area so they didn’t starve.  And we could just let homosexuality die out ‘naturally’.  His name is Charles Worley and here’s his rant, err, I mean…Sermon:

Well here’s some physics for you first…150 miles of fencing would create 1,406 square miles for each respective gay gender.  So that’s 1400 sq miles for lesbians and 1400 sq miles for, as Pastor Worly puts it, queers.  There are roughly 9 million Americans who consider themself homosexual or bisexual.  If we assume it’s a 50/50 split between men and women, then that gives us 4.5 million people per fenced-in area.  That’s a population density of 3,200 people per square mile.  That’s not too bad…a small city, at least.

But if you account for the 19 million Americans who have engaged in same-sex sexual acts, that brings it up to 9.5 million per fence or a density of 6,759 people per square mile.  And if you figure for the fact that he only said that length of fence one, and could therefore imply that he meant it would contain the entire 19 million queery people in there.  That brings us up to 13,513 people per square mile.

To put that in context…that would be the equivalent of Boston, which has a population density of 13,321 people per square mile.  It would also be more dense than Chicago, Philadelphia, or Miami.  It would be about 60% more dense than Staten Island, New York.

Given that I highly doubt he intends to convince congress to give up Staten Island for the new Queersville, I imagine he’d like to do this out in some prairie; and since he said we’d have to air-drop food in, I’m guessing there’ll be no agricultural capabilities of the land.  No medical care or police services, either, by the sounds of it.  So I think that disease and panic will kill them off long before ‘natural causes’ come into play.

Well, you know what’s even worse than all his idiocy?  The fact that people support that kind of idea.  Look at this Rhodes Scholar from his church:

At what point do you not just begin to feel ashamed?

~RCS

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