We all know what auto-correct is by now, I assume. That’s when you’re trying to send a text or an e-mail or even write a novel and the program or device that you are using automatically corrects things to disastrous means. Especially if you write novels with Chinese people in them (for the last time Word, my main character’s name is Cimei, not Cameo, Camel, or Chime).
One of my favorite auto-correct jokes comes from a comedian known as Sebastian Maniscalo in which he talks about the dangerous of texting when you’re drunk. I probably won’t do his joke justice, so go buy tickets to a show he’s doing and get him to tell the joke, himself for a good delivery. Anyway, here’s the joke…
I tried to text my girlfriend the other night while I was drunk, but my auto-correct changed my text when I sent it. I thought I told her, “I love you Sweety.” Nope, look at it the next day and discover I called ‘Sweaty’. Then the other night it did it to me again I texted her that I wanted to eat her out, I get a reply asking, “You want to kick my puppy?”
So anyway, here’s a Photopost dealing with auto-correct mishaps…
You just got Shatnered!
Here’s a good case of someone who should have used auto-correct…
…for his own protection.
Here’s a case of manual auto-correct, thanks to a Grammar Nazi…
Their, there, they’re…it’s okay.
Auto-correct…or Freudian slip?
“Well, you always did seem to get along better with the dog than with me.”
Sometimes auto-correct can save you from a mistake…
And sometimes you’re just too stupid to be saved.
Sometimes auto-correct can even ruin dinner…
I had a boss who referred to masturbation as Jerkin’ Chicken; glad I never went over to his place for dinner.
Auto-correct can strike with the stealth of a drug addict, err I mean, a ninja!
If you give me a bad grade, I will sneak into your home, and shoot up in your basement! Like a real Ninja!
Auto-correct can even end loving, healthy relationships…
Again? Don’t you know we have an overpopulation issue on this planet?
Maybe she was just jealous because you licked them better than her.
Jesus getting the news on one of his disciple’s dates…
So then I stuck it in her and made her moan; oh, and Scotty…Jesus, man. *Music plays…*
Mother and child having a…umm…family talk?
Do you have any pics? My buddy’s got a GILF fetish and wants to see.
Sometimes auto-correct is just plain dirty-minded…
The only thing that could make this better would be if the other person’s name was Stacy.
Sometimes you wish it was auto-correct.
Pics or it didn’t happen!
Some people have more trouble than others.
Painful because I’m laughing so hard.
Auto-correct can come up with new ways to measure things, like natural disasters…
We can test tornadoes by the dizziness scale. If it’s extra-dizzy, then it is spinning around very fast.
Auto-correct can even assist in human trafficking…
I’ll pay $100 for one that hasn’t been suctioned, yet. Does he come with free birdseed, or will I have to get my own feed?
Sometimes it results in total failure of the communication spectrum.
It can even make grocery shopping strange…
I’d go for some boopsicles…I wonder if they have extra-milky. =D
That’s it for today, hope you enjoyed them.
~RCS
Always remember…auto-cat rectal, folks…auto-cat rectal.
Richard C. Shaffer 