Good News From Iowa

In case you aren’t aware, the Iowa Caucus had brought the country a lot of good news.  Michelle Bachman has dropped out of the race.  I don’t like Mitt Romney, Newt Gingrich, or Rick Perry…well, let me rephrase that.  I don’t like Rick Perry’s political views or his religious views, but I have to admit that he seems like a nice guy to hang out with.  In other words…Rick Perry is the new George Dubya Bush: Bad politics and beliefs, but good guy, personally.  Mitt Romney would be a nice guy to hang out, like at the billionaire country club or private ski resort or something.  And I legitimately don’t like Newt Gingrich, as a person; he’s a scoundrel who should have been knifed by his first wife.

Anyway, politically I don’t agree with Romney, Gingrich, or Perry.  Honestly I don’t agree 100% with Ron Paul, either.  But Michelle Bachman was legitimately dangerous to the nation.  I know that she, and others, called Ron Paul dangerous…but all he may have done was bring us into a war with Iran.

I said a couple weeks ago that I like Ron Paul because he walks out, looks you in the eye, and admits he’s bat-shit crazy.  I don’t care that he’s bat-shit crazy enough to get rid of income taxes, or ignore Iran’s nuclear program, or pull troops out of South Korea.  He knows it sounds bat-shit crazy and that’s the angle he’s going for.

But Michelle Bachman was one-hundred times more dangerous because she was twice as bat-shit crazy as Ron Paul and what’s worse…she didn’t know it!  She thought she made sense and her own little universe, she did.

Incriminating conversations that never happened were real, in her head.  She told CNN newscasters, on numerous occasions, that polls didn’t matter; especially not the latest most-accurate poll.  Then in the next sentence she’d say that she was destined to win, because a poll from 4 months earlier had her in first place; even though it was the last time she was in first place.

She was deranged and a raving lunatic, quite frankly, and I am glad that she got out of the race.  My only fear now is that Mitt Romney will win the nomination and bring Bachman in as V.P. to get the votes of the Women, Evangelicals, and Tea Partiers.  It’s a sensible strategy…if you ignore the fact that Michelle Bachman is nuclear-strength bat-shit fanatically deranged.

At least Sarah Palin was harmlessly ignorant.  Bachman is dangerously ignorant.  I’m a little afraid that she’s actually on the Congressional National Defense Committee; to be honest.

But the good news is that she’s out of the race, at least for now.  So we can rest for a moment and prepare for Romney to make a bad decision when he, unfortunately and inevitably, wins the nomination.

Now one quick thing about the Iowa runner-up Rick Santorum: As a fellow Pennsylvanian I know first-hand how terrible he’d do as the President.  Here’s hoping that he’ll fall flat within the next few months.  I’d rather see his archnemesis, Dan Savage, win the Presidency.


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