August Dick of the Month: Fradulent Home Seller

This month’s Dick of the Month is a little personal.  I’ve talked about the new house once or twice and mentioned that I’d eventually tell you the story behind getting the house.  Well, here it is…

We were in the process of buying a house down the street from our apartment at the time.  The house was decent, it lacked parking and it had a small yard, but inside it was pretty nice looking and it had large rooms with a lot of hand-crafted, built-in furniture like dressers and desks.

Everything was going well; we negotiated on a price and came to an agreement that was around where we wanted to be.  We went ahead with things and had an inspection done, discovering that the furnace didn’t work properly and the water to the front bathroom was shut off.

We stipulated as part of the sales deal that they fix the furnace and finish repairs to the front bathroom.  Finish repairs, you ask?  Yes, they stated when we were looking at the house that there was a minor leak and they were in the process of fixing the front bathroom to stop the leak.

The seller agreed and everything was going along somewhat smoothly, until we were getting close to the date to start signing for loans amount to about $70,000.

With about a week to go before everything is finalized, we find out that the seller is probably sabotaging the deal, because she learned that after she pays off a bunch of debts she won’t have enough money to get her own apartment and will have to move back in with her son after the sale.

She suddenly reneges on the deal and says that she doesn’t want to pay for the plumbing repairs to the front bathroom.

Hmm…I’m beginning to think something foul might be ahoof.

We finally brow-beat her into agreeing to let a third-party affiliate into the house, a home-warranty company, to see if the plumbing repairs would be covered under the included home warranty program.  We brow beat her by pointing out that if she backed out, we could sue her for breach of contract.

So the home warranty company goes in and checks things out and says no, they won’t cover the replacement.  They would cover the repairs…if there was any plumbing left.

That’s right…days before selling us her house…she took all the copper plumbing from the building and scrapped it for extra cash.  Intending to leave us with a house only half plumbed (the kitchen copper had been replaced with PVC years earlier) to make up for having to fix the furnace.

Here’s the problem: We’d already paid $760 in assorted fees and payments to home inspectors, loan agents, and other non-refundable things.

$760 is a lot of money to me.

So I spoke to an old acquaintance of mine, who happens to be a Real Estate lawyer.  He told me to be glad I didn’t go deeper into things, because I’d just spend $2,000 suing her for $800.

She probably would have declared bankruptcy and weaseled out of paying me the $800, anyway.

So, Lady Who Was Selling Me Your House.  You win the August Dick of the Month.



Pittsburgh Earthquake 2011: Rebuilding Fund

As some of you may have heard, or felt, there was an earthquake in Washington D.C. a few weeks ago.  At the time my fiancée and I were at Kennywood in the Pittsburgh area and didn’t feel a thing.

That being said, apparently at my job site they could feel it.  There was about ten seconds of what basically felt like a fat person jogging nearby and shaking the floor as they went.

Somebody finally deduced that it wasn’t Dennis Nedry skipping to the vending machines and it was, in fact, an earthquake.  They emptied the building for twenty minutes, fearful it would collapse on them.  The facility manager had to meander around the parking lot chasing people back into the building like a sheep dog.

A few days later I was roaming the building and found someone had posted a copy of this picture, with VA replaced by the word Pittsburgh, on their filing cabinet:

I nearly tripped I started laughing so hard.  I immediately kifed it, rushed to a copy machine to make a copy to take home, and then returned it, like a ninja–so no one would even know it was ever gone.

That being the case I couldn’t get the picture for you folks to see, so I found that VA Earthquake one from the blog of one Mr. Cliff Tuttle.  Kind of a niche blog, but if you’re in Western PA and in legal trouble, he seems to be a good one to read.

Should my ninja techniques ever fail me, I may just ask him to represent me.

Or even if you aren’t in legal trouble, some of his posts are pretty entertaining.  Credit card knives, trivial pursuit, and a corrupt senator, oh my!


BTW, the Dennis Nedry comment is because the little lady and I just watched the first two Jurassic Park movies yesterday, since she’s fluish and I had the day off.  Now it’s on to the whole Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle movie franchise.  Well, except for the new CG one.

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