Stripped Bare

Let me get the set up out-of-the-way first, so you don’t think I’m a total creeper.  My fiance’s friend just got out of a bad relationship and wanted to test her bisexuality.  So she said she wanted to head to a strip club and check out some titties.  But she’s only 19, so we had to find a club that permitted 18 and over instead of 21 and over.

So I found one pretty close, and we headed to it Wednesday night about midnight.  They’re open ‘till 4 am (Wed-Sat), so a night owl like me is right at home.  It was myself, my fiancé, and her friend.  Neither of the three of us had ever been to a strip club, before.

That’s right, I’d never been to a strip club until last night.


It was certainly not exactly what I was expecting.  I was kind of expecting the way the movies portrayed it, a bunch of disinterested women dancing around half-naked while drunk guys tossed dollar bills at them.  Way wrong, well, about the ladies at least.

The ladies were personable, friendly, one even shook our hands before she danced for us.  My fiancé and her friend got to motorboat a couple of the dancers, so they weren’t afraid to indulge the visiting ladyfolk.  A couple of them had short conversations with us (how big of a dork am I that I consider the conversations the best part?) and of course they were all talented and good-looking, and naked, too.  I certainly could have done with a few more girls with some meat on their bones, since most of them had cheerleader bodies and probably weighed a hundred pounds soaking wet.  But they were still cute and sexy, even if I would have broken them in half in bed.

Considering my expectations, I'd have been impressed just by not getting robbed and raped as soon I entered the door.

Considering my expectations, I’d have been impressed just by not getting robbed and raped as soon I entered the door.

The bouncers were firm and fair; I’ve never had such a friendly frisking.  I’m also glad they only frisk on the way in, or else they might’ve had to ask where I got the tree limb from.  And the valet was friendly, too, although my fiancé nearly bit her fingertips off as soon we handed the car over to him.  I’d hate to see the heart attack she’d have if we had driven there in something besides her $500 Camry.  He was good with the car, though.

All in all it was a very friendly atmosphere, the dancers were cute and accommodating.  Unfortunately I can’t critique the booze, because my fiancé and her friend are both too young to drink and I don’t drink (plus I was the driver) so I can’t really rate the booze.

We spent about $125 on tips, so we definitely can’t afford to do it constantly.  But it is a nice, fun little evening and my fiancé decided she wants to go again in a few weeks/months.  Can’t say I’d argue with that plan, hehe.


Don’t Judge A Butch By Its Cover?

I’ve begun watching a particular Youtuber lately, her name is Hart and her username is Hartbeat…which is nifty.  But this video is the whole reason why I’ve started watching her:

I’ve watched at least one other one where she gets naked.  She compares herself to Jenna Marbles, another Youtuber.  Personally I’d rather have a romp with Hart, to be honest; you know, if I was single and she wasn’t a lesbian.  Yeah, if I weren’t married and she weren’t gay I would totally tag that err, put the moves on err, watch from the other side of the room like the little pussy I am err, feebly try to date her.



Screw it, we’ll go with that.

Just watch her videos, she’s hilarious.


Put These Idiots In ‘Death Fences’

Some of you may have heard of the Southern Baptist (what is it with these people?  They’re like the Taliban of Christianity!) preacher from North Carolina (I’ll bet he voted in favor of the recent amendment in NC) who spoke of putting all the homosexuals in the country into death camps created by building hundreds of miles of electrified fencing.  Admittely he was godfully compassionate, talking about dropping food into the area so they didn’t starve.  And we could just let homosexuality die out ‘naturally’.  His name is Charles Worley and here’s his rant, err, I mean…Sermon:

Well here’s some physics for you first…150 miles of fencing would create 1,406 square miles for each respective gay gender.  So that’s 1400 sq miles for lesbians and 1400 sq miles for, as Pastor Worly puts it, queers.  There are roughly 9 million Americans who consider themself homosexual or bisexual.  If we assume it’s a 50/50 split between men and women, then that gives us 4.5 million people per fenced-in area.  That’s a population density of 3,200 people per square mile.  That’s not too bad…a small city, at least.

But if you account for the 19 million Americans who have engaged in same-sex sexual acts, that brings it up to 9.5 million per fence or a density of 6,759 people per square mile.  And if you figure for the fact that he only said that length of fence one, and could therefore imply that he meant it would contain the entire 19 million queery people in there.  That brings us up to 13,513 people per square mile.

To put that in context…that would be the equivalent of Boston, which has a population density of 13,321 people per square mile.  It would also be more dense than Chicago, Philadelphia, or Miami.  It would be about 60% more dense than Staten Island, New York.

Given that I highly doubt he intends to convince congress to give up Staten Island for the new Queersville, I imagine he’d like to do this out in some prairie; and since he said we’d have to air-drop food in, I’m guessing there’ll be no agricultural capabilities of the land.  No medical care or police services, either, by the sounds of it.  So I think that disease and panic will kill them off long before ‘natural causes’ come into play.

Well, you know what’s even worse than all his idiocy?  The fact that people support that kind of idea.  Look at this Rhodes Scholar from his church:

At what point do you not just begin to feel ashamed?


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