Did I Get Hit On? Again…?

I mentioned before that I’m not too solid in the brain when it comes to getting hit on.  Well…I think it’s time to prove that point even further.  I once worked as a security guard at a Condo building.  The place was like 18 floors of condos, although the first two floors were a parking garage, office, and there was a small grocer’s shop attached to the front entrance.  They also had a fitness center and a open lounge (for tenants) on the 3rd floor.

It was actually a pretty nice place to live in, I think.  Of course I was getting paid $10 an hour to work there at the time and the cheapest Condo was $1100 a month.  They’d just decided to cut costs by firing the $30 an hour doorman and hiring an unarmed security guard to lock up the lounge, fitness center, and shop on the weekends.  This caused some confusion because something a lot of people don’t understand is that a doorman and a security guard are not the same thing.  They are actually the opposite of each other:

A Doorman opens doors for people, helps them carry their bags, and is generally supposed to be accommodating and helpful.

A Security Guard keeps doors closed, checks peoples’ bags for stolen merchandise, contraband, and bombs, and is generally supposed to be vigilant at their post.


Back on track, then!

Back on track, then!


But that’s a whole other story…one not nearly as interesting as the one I started telling.  You see during this time I had a couple of chances for some sweet lovin’ that I only realized several years later.  Several years and a wife who thinks everyone who waits on our table is out to sleep with me.  Well okay, there was that one waitress, but that’s a different story.

Anyway the first one was awkward on several levels.  You see this guy ordered some delivery food and when he came down I was at the front desk just wiling away the time (I generally polished my desk three times a night…because the job was reeeaaallly boring).  He introduced himself as ‘Mac’ and I haven’t changed the name because the fact that his name was actually Mac is pretty funny.  Especially when you consider that he was a 5’6” white guy named Mac.

Anyway Mac said that he made a mistake when ordering his sandwich, he got one that was way too big.  He told me that he only wanted a half sub, but he had to order the whole sub because of the delivery minimum.  He offered me half his sandwich, said he had a case of beer we could split, and was about to watch the game.

I told him I was on duty and couldn’t drink.  He then asked me when my shift was over, I told him 2:00am and he promised he’d still be up, and he had the game recorded so he could just rewind it if I wanted to come up then.  I’d be off duty, so the sandwich and beers would be totally cool, then.  I should like to point out that during this conversation it was only 8:00pm.

He wrote his apartment number down and handed it to me, so I’d remember which apartment was his.

Everybody tells me that I could have had my first gay experience if I’d just taken a little stroll up to the eighth floor that night.

Shame I had to wait until that night in Mexican Pris--I mean, never mind.

Shame I had to wait until that night in Mexican Pris–I mean, never mind.

So what do you think?  Are they right?  Was Mac hitting on me?  Do you think he was disappointed that I never came up to his place?  Let me know in the comments.


What’s Worse Than Jail Rape? Going To Jail For Being Raped…

My fiancé enjoys watching Law & Order: Special Victims Unit on Netflix.  She just needs the background noise while she’s home, alone.  This pretty much makes her an expert on the legal facets of rape, molest, and murder; at least as far as any American with no formal legal education can be.

She knows how rape cases go, or at least should go: The rapist commits the crime, the victim reports the rape and identifies the rapist, the rapist goes to jail, and then this happens:

But lo and behold when we were talking a few weeks back about cases of rape where the raped person gets punished for being raped.  We talked about ancient Judeo-Christian societies where a woman was raped and then stoned to death for being a temptress.  Cases during the American Witch Trials where women were raped and then burnt or drowned for being witches, because only witches would seduce married men into raping them.

And a few ultra-conservative Islamic countries where women are imprisoned for being raped.  Afghanistan, is one of said countries.

Miss Gulnaz, as she is known to protect her identity because her neighbors are threatening her with ‘reprisals’, which is a politically correct term for being stoned to death, because her cousin’s husband raped her.  Her cousin’s husband was married, hence his title in this story, which meant that she was an adulteress.

Gulnaz was afraid she would suffer reprisals, that is be stoned to death, so she hesitated to report the rape.  But it seems that about the time she realized that she was pregnant with the rapist’s child, she decided to report the rape.

Gulnaz was then sentenced to 12 years in prison for adultery.  She had the rapist’s child in prison and has been raising it in prison for the past two years.  She even offered to marry the rapist in order to be freed and have her daughter be legitimized.

The government then told her, marriage aside…Gulnaz waited too long to report the rape.  So they let her off the hook for the adultery by cutting the prison sentence from 12 years down to 3; the compassionate action was to only imprison her for 3 years and possibly force her to marry her rapist…because she was raped.

Let’s look at compassionate release in other countries: In Scotland the Lockerbie bomber, Abdelbaset Mohmed Ali al-Megrahi, was let go from prison, after killing hundreds of people, because he might die in jail and that’s awfully depressing.  So they gave him compassionate release and let him go home to Libya…where he is still alive today.  He killed 270 people and was let go after 8 years in prison.

Gulnaz was imprisoned for 12 years for being forcibly raped by her cousin’s husband and was compassionately reduced to 3 years after she had already served two years.

Well now Hamid Karzai, the corrupt president of Afghanistan, has stepped in and forced a pardon for her letting her go into the hands of an American attorney who has promised to take her someplace safe.  He has agreed to meet with her and see if she wants to marry her rapist, but he is not requiring it as the terms to her release; although he does admit that if she returns to her home village, she’ll probably be reprised.


Remember how good you have in America ladies.  Sure, you might get raped, and odds are the rapist will probably get away with it.  But at least you don’t have to go to prison, too.