Behind The Scenes: July DotM

A couple days ago I finally got the July Dick of the Month up.  I had a small stack of pictures on my desk (figuratively speaking, of course; I work in a digital format) and had to decide which one I wanted to use for the Christian school punch line.  I finally went this one…

"Susie, was it worth the eternal hellfire of damnation?" "Totally."

“Susie, was it worth the eternal hellfire of damnation?” “Totally.”

But there were a couple of other good ones I didn’t use.  I hated to waste them, so here’s a short Photopost to show you the ones that were ‘cutting-room floor’ for the Dick of the Month post.  A few of them are just generally funny, a few of them are tragically thought-provoking.  One is just cruelly thought-provoking.  I’ll try not to end on the cruel one.



If you’re happy and you know it, rub your dick! What, the book says we can’t do that, either?


Those poor doctors, if only we could make it up to them by paying them inordinate sums to save our lives. 

Yeah, this was the cruel one I was talking about. That God I didn’t end with–whoops.


The Godcebo effect.




January Dick of the Month: Goshen Hospital Nurses

The job of a nurse is to care for and aid sick people in hospitals, clinics, and even home care.  If I was a hospital administrator and hiring new nurses I’d have the following requirements:

They must be knowledgeable, friendly, hard working and…hmm what else might a nurse need?  Oh yeah…decent health!

Many of the people in hospitals have compromised immune systems and the flu happens to be the number one, among vaccine-preventable diseases, killer of hospital patients.  A nurse with the flu could conceivably cause numerous deaths among hospital patients.

So when IU Health Goshen Hospital in Indiana instituted mandatory flu shots for all physicians, nurses, volunteers, and even vendors, it showed that they really cared about not endangering their patients’ lives.  Even if, I’m sure, it was just because killing your patients is bad PR for hospitals.

So when 8 holdouts refused to get the shots, Goshen Hospital fired them.  And then a few of them sued Goshen, because they claimed that getting flu vaccinations was against their religion.  And I quote…

“We all have different faith walks,” said [Joyce] Gingerich, who describes herself as a nondenominational Christian. “I feel like in my personal faith walk, I have felt instructed not to get a flu vaccination, but it’s also the whole matter of the right to choose what I put in my body and what I feel God wants me to put in versus someone mandating what I put in. It is a very big issue for me.”

I don’t really remember the bible saying anything about Jesus hating vaccinations.  Figs, yes, maybe even Pontius Pilate and Judas Iscariot for obvious reasons, but nothing to my knowledge about vaccinations.  I’m sure if they had influenza vaccinations in Jesus’ time, back when influenza could become a pretty deadly epidemic, he would have most likely supported it.

But that brings up another issue.  These nurses are endangering the lives of patients over superstitious beliefs.  It’s one thing to be a Christian nurse and pray for a patient, it’s another thing entirely to denounce medical science and put a patient’s life at risk.

Personally I’m glad they got fired, they probably weren’t very good nurses if they let their religion win out over medical science.  Another of the religo-freaks at Goshen is this chick:

[Sue] Schrock said she believes people can stay healthy by taking natural vitamins, eating well and exercising, and they don’t need to get a flu shot.

“I’m a pretty quiet, spiritual person, and for me, it was a big decision, but it was something that was very meaningful for me not to have in my body,” she said.

Yeah, totally.  You’re knee deep in sick and dead people, but taking a multi-vitamin will keep you impenetrable to disease?  Stupid people.  Here’s another quote by Schrock:

“I just learned more and more about natural healing,” she said. “We’ve been using natural products for a good 20 years, and that’s the way we believe healing takes place.”

For stupidly ignoring medical science and endangering your patients…and then for suing for the right to murder your patients by infliction of disease, you Religo-Freak Nurses of IU Health Goshen Hospital are the January Dick(s) of the Month!


Holiday Mail For Heroes Has Ended

Well folks, I hope you got your holiday cards out in time for the Holiday Mail For Heroes program.  December 9th, like I warned, was the deadline.

The wife and I had a bit of trouble trying to find non-religious holiday cards, proving that Rick Perry is full of shit.  Charismatic and funny, but full of shit.  War on Religion my ass, we even found Hanukkah cards but nothing that was just a Happy Holiday card.  We hit four stores to do and eventually ended up in the Thank You/Sympathy card section of Giant Eagle (the local Grocery chain).  We ended up getting a dozen of the same card and shipped them out in a packing envelope, since we only found one that seemed good.

Oh well, maybe we’ll pick some cards up during the year outside of the holidays and keep them in a cabinet waiting for next year’s holiday season to start?

Anyway, hope you got yours in on time.  Have a good holiday season and enjoy some time hiding from with your family.


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