Confederated States of Stupid

I hadn’t planned on commenting about the fiasco in South Carolina about the Confederated Flag.  Or the one in Mississippi…or Virginia…or Walmart and–y’know what, I just had planned on not mentioning it.  I’ve actually been using what spare time I had recently to write another funny story about me getting hit on.

But after a family member (through marriage, I’m not claiming the guy) posted a particular picture (which I’ll show below) on their Facebook, I decided I needed to rant a little bit about Confederate stupidity.

Now first let me give you my basic opinion on the Confederate Flag(s).  Should it be taken off of Virginian license plates, removed from the South Carolina Capitol building, and all that?  Yes, yes it should.  Should it be done to honor the victims of the shooting in a Charleston church?  No, no it shouldn’t.  Should it be done because the Confederate States of America was technically an enemy we were at war with and defeated and the fact that flying any of its flags should be considered a sign of treason?  Yes, well…I mean, as far as what it imports not actually hanging traitors for wearing Dukes of Hazard shirts or anything.

I’ve heard all the reasons not to take it down…

“It’s South Carolina’s heritage.” 

Well, so is being a British colony, but I don’t see them hanging the Union Jack from the Capitol building, do you?  I don’t see Texas putting a Mexican flag over their State Capitol anytime soon, so why would South Carolina want to fly the flag of a defeated ‘nation’ over their government complexes?

“That’s the flag that flew over that building during the war, so it belongs there to honor those who fought for it!”

Actually no, that’s the flag of the Army of Virginia, the South Carolinians fought under a totally different battle flag.

“That flag, or a representation of it, has been flying over that building since the Civil War!”

Actually no, that flag was hoisted over the capitol building in 1961 to protest desegregation ordered by the federal government.

So what is the picture that got me a little worked up?  Here it is and it’s totally not racist in the least, no siree, not even a touch of racism to it…

I lied, it's INCREDIBLY racist.

I lied, it’s INCREDIBLY racist.

 

Yeah…there’s three problems with the comparison.

1. All hail the white folks who hoist the flag of an enemy army who fought and killed Americans; but oh not, ‘dem dirty Negroes is stomping on the flag in a peaceful protest?  Speaking of peaceful protest…why is it okay for the white kids to have rifles while waving an enemy battle flag, but the black kids having a peaceful protest where they stomp on the flag is so terrible?

2. Cute that the white martyrs get their faces blurred, but the black kids have their faces plastered on the picture.

3. The comparison is totally disjointed.  This is the argument I always have with my Republican friends about stuff like bibles in schools or the ten commandments on the courthouse steps.  We are talking about a government building flying the flag of an enemy army; compared to a private citizen desecrating the U.S. Flag.  When a government building places something it implies that the government is supporting whatever that thing is or whatever it signifies.  If I hang a Don’t Tread on Me flag it probably means that I’m upset with the government, likewise if I hang a laminated picture of the Quran on my porch it probably means I either am Muslim or support Islam in some, rather strong, manner.  So if a government building hangs the Quranic verse in stone on their front steps, it implies that government authority favors Islam and Muslims.  If the government building hangs only a Quranic verse, it means it favors that religion over others, which is contrary to the protections of the constitution.  Similarly if a government building hangs the flag of an enemy army, that technically implies it has joined that army or is currently under control by the enemy.  It needs to be besieged and rescued immediately by the Army!

If Louisiana placed a French Flag above the capitol building, these same Confederate-lovers would be inconsolable about it.  Imagine if the Capitol Building in Washington D.C. placed an English flag on a pole in front of the building.  Why not?  We beat them, too.  It’s part of our heritage, isn’t it?  But no, that would be totally unacceptable.

Bunch of Jackasses.

~RCS

Stupid Stories

I was heating up some leftovers today when I thought about the mother of a friend of mine in High School.
She tossed a microwave in the dumpster one day, because it quit working.
What stopped working, you might be curious about?
The light burned out and she couldn’t find the right size to replace it, so she just thre it out in the trash.
When asked why she didn’t just run it without the light her reply was, “Well, then it wouldn’t cook anything.”
Give yourself a moment to recognize that she had two children. We let that brilliance reproduce. She is also a grandmother now, which means we are now into a third generation of stupid.
Apparently she always thought microwaves were just giant easy-bake ovens.

So, anybody else want to share a good story of stupidity in the comments?
~RCS
By the way, I wrote this on my phone’s wordpress app. So forgive the low quality of wordplay.

Asphalt Hats

Found a patch for the textures in Penumbra: Black Plague; so now it works properly.  I’ve continued to play it, so some more composition about it may come later.

But for now I find it far more interesting talking about the headwear of the asphalt layers at my job site.  No, really.  I was sitting at my desk staring out the windows and watching them work.  That’s when I noticed a man wearing a Sunegasa.  That’s one of those conical Asian hats that you always see rice farmers wear in Vietnamese movies and they’re also worn by any samurai trying to hide his appearance in an old samurai movie.

Then I realized something even stranger…there was another guy wearing a Sunegasa.  Most of the crew is wearing baseball caps, a few guys just with bandanas, but there are two men walking around in Sunegasas.

After realizing this I started paying more attention to their headwear.  Some guys were wearing their ball caps backwards, not unusual, some guys had their bandanas covering their heads, some guys just had the bandana rolled and tied around their scalp like a sweatband.

Then there were two guys who, I assume were the foremen, wearing hardhats and watching everyone else do the real work; one old guy with a Hapsburg fedora.  And finally one guy with a State Trooper-style hard-rimmed boonie hat on.

That’s when I noticed the guy on the bicycle ride through the 7 sawhorse barricades and pedal through the parking lot as if there was nothing going on.  I mean…really?  No less than 7 sawhorses to barricade a 2-car wide roadway and you don’t arrive at the conclusion that you’re not supposed to be there?

I think it should be legal to shoot these people.  Really.  I think it should be Just Cause to blow these peoples’ kneecaps off and leave them in the road.

~RCS

…but wait until he gets back on the road, if you cap his knees in the parking lot he’ll land in the new asphalt.

Free lessons in Dickjutsu by e-maill. Or if you don't get the joke, it's the subscription button.