Pope Me So I Know I’m Not Dreaming!

As I’m sure you are aware by now, brutally aware if you are either a) Catholic or b) A News watcher, we have a new Pope.  Well let me rephrase that, since I’m not Catholic.  The Catholic church, as a group, have elected a new pope.  And I use the term elected loosely.  It is held by an election of sorts, but since it is not an open election it is more of an appointment; kind of like the U.S. President.

Nonetheless, he has taken the name Pope Francesco, or Francis as we call the name here in the U.S.  He is a Jesuit, he is 76 years old, his shoe size is…blah, blah, blah…if you have watched the news at all in the past month you already know all of this.

But here’s something you might not, explicitly, know: News stations are apparently run by very mentally challenged individuals.

Go home Map, you're drunk.

Go home Map, you’re drunk.

Does anybody want to list what is wrong with this picture?

No, no, not the fact that the Pope is getting world-wide news attention while many of the people watching that don’t know the Dalai Lama’s real name or even what an Ayatollah is.  Well, I mean that’s not right either, but that’s not the point I’m getting at!

The point is that…whoever made that map wouldn’t be able to find the homes of any of these folks.  The Dalai Lama is from Tibet, that’s on the west side of China, and the Ayatollahs are all over that cute little country called Iran.  The folks who set this map up probably think Tibet is in Australia and Iran is that little country between Germany and France (most people call it Belgium).

You see…this is a proper map of Argentina:

The ocean to the east is Atlantic and the one to the west is Pacific...not Indian.

The ocean to the east is Atlantic and the one to the west is Pacific…not Indian.

The Argentina part can be explained as thus: The country they actually have the dot in is Columbia, which has a city named Argentina.  Except that Argentina, Columbia is located in that mountain range north of the dot.  The Indian Ocean is a little bit closer to India, of course and no one can explain to me how the hell they even got that mixed up.

That picture is from a CBS affiliate in Texas, I am told.  So I just want to remind all you folks…Texas gets to decide what is in your children’s text books all around the country.  That’s the best argument for empowering the federal Education Department to review and print its own text books.


Missing Dicks of the Months?

So I was just doing some looking around and discovered that I made a mistake when uploading the Dick of the Month posts for May and June.  Turns out I uploaded them as drafts, not as Posts.  What does that mean?  It means you couldn’t read them.  So the coming week will be Dick of the Month Week.

Monday we’ll have May’s Dick of the Month.

Wednesday we’ll have June’s Dick of the Month.

And we’ll top it all off with July’s Dick of the Month on Friday!

Unless something goes terribly awry…like me uploading them wrong, again.


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