Shirts vs. Skins!

There is serious gender inequality, roving our streets every day; especially in the warm summer months!  Men walking down the streets, shirtless, while women are forced to wear this!


Well, okay, so America’s not quite that bad.  Here women wear this…


Maybe the Burqa’s not such a bad thing?

But they should be allowed to wear this…

Scientific fact, black bars make blue balls.

Scientific fact, black bars make blue balls.

Notice the problem here?  A topless man is perfectly acceptable to show on television, in movies, even in children’s stuff.  But a topless woman?  Instant pornography!

This is gender inequality at its most basic level.  We complain about Burqas, headscarves, and veils in Middle Eastern countries, Airlines requiring skirts or dresses and a specific type of makeup, glass ceilings in the private market, or jokes about women drivers.  But what about the simple fact that we, as a society, look at the female breast, particularly the nipple…something that gives and maintains life among our species, as obscene.

How is a woman’s breast, and her nipple, an obscene thing but a man’s useless moob and nipple are not?  Why are men allowed to walk down the street in nothing but a speedo and women are ostracized as whores for showing cleavage?

I’ve heard that it would increase rapes.  Well that’s a stupid point.  Maybe if we didn’t look at breasts as such a sexual thing and we just looked at them as what they are, a part of the human body, we wouldn’t have so any sexually frustrated idiots who think that rape is acceptable.

We either need to allow women to walk around bare-chested, or remove a man’s right to walk around bare-chested.  It’s sexual discrimination, the same as forcing a man to cut his hair for a job, but not a woman; the same as forcing a woman to wear a skirt in the workplace, but men can wear pants; the same as requiring a woman to wear a shawl that makes it impossible to see her face but men don’t even have to wear a hat.

Equality isn’t hard, it just takes someone to realize, “Wholly shit, this is wrong, let’s un-wrong it, maybe?”



4th of July, 2013…Recollections of History

I felt the need to take a moment and look at where exactly our country has come, and maybe where it might be going, on this fortuitous day known as Independence Day.  That is the day that we, as a confederacy, enacted our Declaration of Independence!  July 2nd, 17–whoops, sorry the bill was passed by the continental congress on the second of July to go to war with Britain, but it didn’t hit the papers with he Declaration of Independence until July 4th, so we celebrate that, instead.

So as I said, let’s take a brief look at the country as it was back in 1776, when the first day of Independence happened.


We weren’t an independent nation, actually we weren’t even a nation at the time, until some years after.  It’s debatable what you would consider the actual year, whether it’s 1783 when we won the Revolutionary War and Britain recognized our independence, or if you want to call it 1788 when we ratified the constitution; or perhaps 1789 when we actually had a standing government based on the constitution.  Regardless we weren’t actually independent on the first Independence Day, though.

Freedom…at the time…

At the time of our independence of course, we had slaves, women couldn’t vote, as a matter of fact men who didn’t own land couldn’t really vote, either.  So basically the only people who could vote were white, wealthy men; which were pretty much the guys who ran for office, too (well, at least that hasn’t changed, right?).  So let’s start looking at July 4ths on 50 year turns…starting from 1776.

July 4th, 1826

The second and third presidents, John Adams and Thomas Jefferson, both die on July 4th; both men also signed the original Declaration of Independence.  The country still had slavery in the south, although by now many northern states had abolished it with gradual emancipation.  Hey, we can’t all be William Whipple, right?  Although the freed slaves still couldn’t vote, or own property in some states, and many states required freed blacks to get passes to travel from state-to-state.  Women were still property, by the way, and couldn’t vote either; but at least if they were white and/or wealthy they could travel somewhat freely.

July 4th, 1876

Well shit, some fool thought it would be a good idea to start a war between the northern and southern states of the U.S.  How did it turn out?  Well during the American Civil War more than 625,000 soldiers died; although 65% of that was due to disease and shit with only 35% of the dead being killed during combat (and that’s not including friendly fire or the gun blowing up in their face).  Add to that number another 400-500 thousand wounded soldiers who were often maimed for life; missing limbs, eyes, etc.

And before someone gives us credit for it, it was an economic war, not a war to free the slaves.  Abraham Lincoln actually supported slavery, having said that he would not veto a bill in congress that was being voted when he was elected.  That bill basically would have made it illegal to abolish slavery on a federal level.

So we have freed the slaves and the Jim Crow laws, enacted and ruthlessly enforced in many southern states, make the lives of freed blacks actually worse than it was during the times of slavery.  Great job guys, keep up the good work.  And women?  Yeah, well, I’m sure you didn’t want to vote or own land.  What’s that?  You thought you were allowed to own property?  That’s silly, you are property you dumb bitch!  Hahaha!


No, seriously…by 1876 in the U.S. most states allowed a married woman to own and manage her husband’s estate if he was incapacitated.  And several states allowed a woman to own property in her name, but she was not allowed to manage it.  Which meant, ladies, that you could own a farm…but you had to hire a man to run it for you; or you could own the family farm and marry a man who would run it, even though it was in your name.  At the time the only place that allowed unmarried women to own property was Oregon and I’m not real sure it was even a state, yet.  Although to be fair, Maine did enact a law in 1857 which allowed married women to control their own money; and by this time (1876) a total of…20 other states have permitted it with Wyoming coming in this very year.  The first woman to practice law in the U.S and the first female doctor have come about and most states allow married women to start trade guilds (mostly Sewing Guilds), but still not all.

Gays?  Meh, you don’t legally exist so who cares about you, right?  Any non-Christian religious person or institution in the U.S.?  Good luck with that.

July 4th, 1926

Jesus, that was one hell of a war!  I don’t see why everybody’s calling the Great War, it was fuckin’ horrendous!  Definitely not going to have another one of those, by God.  Damn, I mean…we’re probably gonna just stop going to war entirely after all that shit in Europe happened.  Oh well, anyway on the home front…

The first female police officer recently retired, having been hired by the Chicago Police force; who cares if she was actually Canadian and only made it to the rank of sergeant after 32 years on the force, right?  Glass ceiling, ladies; you’ll eventually get used to it, I’m sure.  Remember that female law student from the last celebration?  Well in 1896 we actually let her become a lawyer, well in one state at least, but y’know that’s better than letting you get an expensive law degree just to take care of the kids at home, right?  And I’m pretty sure you can run for office by now, although your friends still can’t vote for you unless they have a penis.  Oh wait, that’s right…in 1920 you actually won the right to vote.  Isn’t that cute?

Blacks?  Well, you’re doing a lot better than you were a century ago, at least now you can vote, right?  Well, I mean you have the legal right…however there are all kinds of laws and thugs that make it hard, if not impossible, to do so without getting lynched, but it’s a step in the right direction!

Gays?  Shh, you still don’t exist!

Semen just suddenly erupted from my palm!

Semen just suddenly erupted from my palm!

July 4th, 1976

Seriously?  How are we stupid enough to get involved in the Second War to End All Wars?  And then ten years later wind up fighting in Korea.  What?  Vietnam?  Aww shit, ya frickin’ idiots.  Fuck the French.

Not to mention the giant chick statue!

Not to mention the giant chick statue!

Blacks?  Congratulations you finally have some actual rights, as of about…ten years ago; also in 1952 you could immigrate and become a citizen.  Yay, right?

Ladies?  Congratulations, you have some rights, too.  You even have the right to get abortions as of three years earlier from Roe v. Wade, which was a resounding victory for abortion rights; no way anyone could ever argue that decision, right?

Filipino’s?  Congratulations you finally have independence for the first time in almost 4 centuries.

Gays?  Holy fuck where’d you come from?  Four years ago the Supreme Court said that discrimination against Gays is not unconstitutional.  And in Washington State it was determined that homosexuality was immoral and that is was proper grounds to fire a teacher with a perfect record.  Also, that law I mentioned that says Blacks can come to the U.S. and become citizens?  Yeah, well faggots can’t, or commies; get out and stay out!  And in two years someone’s going to martyr the shit out of the first gay public official, Harvey Milk.

July 4th, 2026?

Well, where will we be here?  Will we strip away the rights of Women and Blacks (and Latinos, Muslims, etc.) to vote, get medical care, etc.?  Will we force poor people, who can’t afford overpriced medical coverage to pay fines and go to prison?  Will we let homosexual marry each other?

We’ve made strides toward equality: We’ve taken down DOMA and Prop 8, we’ve made it so that anyone can vote, we’ve created protections for gender, race, and religious creed.

Of course you can still be fired, and in some places arrested, for being gay.  We have fanatical wings of our political parties who are trying to remove the ability for minorities and women to vote and to take away their rights.  Women still can’t breastfeed in public without getting harassed, but a man can walk around shirtless with no legal consequences.  Economic hardships for the poor and middle class are the worst they’ve been since the Great Depression, but the wealthy are the wealthiest they’ve been since the country was founded; income and wealth disparity ever-growing with no end in sight.

It’s still hard to tell whether this country will improve or fall apart in the next decade as we near our tri-centenial in 2076.

Who knows?  Maybe we’ll get invaded by China in 2014 and Independence day will be a moot point anyway.


I’m learning Cantonese just in case.  Yu Mo Gwai Gwaai, Fai Di Zao.

Sex Education in America: My Proposal

Catholics think condoms are wrong, right? They should all donate theirs for poor boys like this.

I came across this picture on Facebook a couple of days ago and it really got me thinking about Sex Education.  As hilarious as the picture is and how much I hope it’s just a prank or a joke, I fear it might not be.  Abstinence should be taught, yes, but so should sex education.

So this one’s gonna be a two-parter.  First I’ll talk about the course itself, then on Wednesday I’ll finish the plan off with a more in-depth curriculum summary and my final thoughts.

I figure with the recent hooplah about reproductive rights and how little so many people seem to know about contraceptives and abortions, this would be at least somewhat topical.

Sex Education in School

1.       The Course

There is always a hot debate about whether or not you should have sex education in schools.  I’m firmly on the side of ‘yes’.  As a matter of fact, I think that to be an accredited private/charter school that should be part of your required curriculum.  If you don’t pass Sex Ed. then you don’t graduate, same as any other course.

I think that it should be required to occur no later than 7th Grade, but no earlier than 6th Grade.  It will be up to the particular school in question to decide whether or not it will be 6th or 7th grade.  Why then?  Because that’s when students will be around 13 years old.  I support Pennsylvania’s system of age of consent laws where sex is unlawful under the age of 13.  From 13 to 16 you can only engage in sexual acts with someone within 4 years of your age, over the age of 13 (i.e. someone who is 13 can only engage in sexual acts with someone 13-17, a fifteen year old can engage in sexual acts with someone 13-19, etc.).  At 16 the person is considered to be at the age of consent and can engage in sexual interactions with whomever they please, as long as they are over 13.

All that illustrates this point: Sex is legal at age 13; in Pennsylvania, at least (and we’ll use PA’s model, since we’re a relatively sexually conservative state).  So since sex is legal, we cannot prohibit sexually active 13 year olds, or sexually active 13-17 year olds who wish to become sexually active with other 13-17 year olds.  As such, 13 year olds should be taught about sex, intercourse, sexuality, pregnancy, and birth control.

My High School had a voluntary sexual education program.  In 6th Grade they took a section of each day for about 4 weeks, if I recall properly, and separated the classes by male and female.  But before it started, parents were given the chance to have their child ‘opt-out’ of the program and not take the course.  Those students were basically given a half-day study hall, while the others were taught how to properly put on a condom, bear a child, have sex, etc.

In a perfect system I’d have a quarter-credit course in 6th Grade where the students are separated based on gender and taught about their bodies and each other’s bodies.  Then in 7th Grade they will have a co-ed Sex Ed. course so that they can become more comfortable with sexually with their opposing genders.

Remember, right now these are your children's Sex Ed instructors.


Second part on Wednesday…

Vote Barefoot and Pregnant

As you may well now, I’m not a big fan of Mitt Romney.  Mainly because I’m tired of wealthy people claiming they want the best for poor-ish folks like me and then getting into office and making the country such a nicer place for their wealthy friends.  I’m lookin’ at you, too, Mr. Obama.  But Romney’s biggest problem is that other Republicans can’t get behind him, because he’s too moderate, which is a fancy way to say that he compromises in arguments instead of the natural Republican defense of, “I’m right an’ yer wrong, so I’s shoot yo ass or pray fer bad things t’happen to ya!”  Of course I’ll give Romney this much…Obama lied to us and said he was all about the ‘little guy’.  At least Romney admits he’s all about the wealthy folks. least Romney's honest in what he wants. Our Money.

But there’s someone in the world who really could get to vote for Mitt Romney.  And no I’m not talking about Corporate Assassins who are out to protect the oligarchs and aristocrats of America.  It’s Rick Santorum…

That’s right, Rick Santorum, the new crusader (and I do not use the term figuratively) of the religious ‘right’.  He basically supports putting women back in the kitchen, preferably barefoot and pregnant, and following a biblical ideology of how the country should be run.  He’s gone so far as to say that the Constitution is just an ‘owner’s manual’ to tell us how to run the country using the Roman Catholic Bible as a guide for what should and should not be law.

This is the same man who bilked Pennsylvania out of $60,000 to educate his children in charter schools, even though his primary residence was in Vriginia, then refused to pay the money back (even though he’s worth upwards of 3 million dollars) and forced the charter school to sue the state itself to get back some of the money it was owed.  But remember folks…it isn’t like lying, cheating, and stealing are forbidden by some ancient holy text that Rick Santorum follows or anything, is it?

Oh, right...that book.


Well, I have news for Mr. Santorum.  Women fought hard to get the rights that he thinks they don’t seem to deserve.  And they’ll fight him pretty hard, too, to keep them.  And to get even more, until there is no job a woman can’t do or can’t have, just because it requires a penis.  Well…except gay porn model, I suppose…but that makes up for the limited roles men had on the show Baywatch, I think.

I saw this picture last night on my Facebook account and decided that it was certainly worth a few shares.  Just to warn Santorum and his nutjob supporters what’s in store for themselves if they think they’ll win anything, at all.  It’s from a Tumblr account called The Riot.


Free lessons in Dickjutsu by e-maill. Or if you don't get the joke, it's the subscription button.